Cognitive test.

Big Papa2760

My wife is at Fast stage 6D/E. I just received a letter from her doctors saying she lacks the ability to make her own decision. This is hard to take in and process. it's final she will never be coming home again. I've mentally known it, but until you get the formal letter it didn't really feel real. At this point it's just a waiting game, I guess. I'm not ready to clean house and remove her things. They still make me feel like she's around. I know she isn't dead, but there isn't any hope left now. Please can someone who has gone thru this give me some guidance?

RetiredTeacher

I wish I could help but we aren't as far along thos journey as you are. I am sorry you got that news that is hard to hear. Is your DW in a MCF? You didn't tell us where she is staying. I hope others give you the information and support you seek.

Big Papa2760

She is staying in a care facility for women with dementia

SDianeL

I’m so sorry. Anticipatory grief is what you’re feeling. We want them to stay but we want their suffering to be over. We feel guilty for feeling that way. Is she under hospice care? If not I highly recommend it. They offer so much help. They have counselors and clergy you can speak with. They will explain everything and when the time comes they will ensure a peaceful passing. My heart breaks for you. I’m praying for your strength in the coming days. You have been a great caregiver to ger. She’s lucky to have you. We’re here whenever you need to talk. 🙏💜

BPS

My wife was stage 6 and then she had a stroke. She moved straight from the hospital to memory care. You are right now it is a waiting game with no hope. For me after waiting a while I felt like I needed to be doing something related to moving on. We have lived in the same house for 35 years so we had collected a lot of stuff. I started cleaning out some things that I knew we would never use. I boxed up a lot of her stuff and put the boxes in the garage. After a while longer I got rid of the boxes. It was not only her things but some of her things were in the boxes too. That helped me to except the reality. I know some people want to keep everything the same but that helped me. In a lot of ways I still haven't moved on I sit home alone too much.