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Early in the process

My husband was advised by neurology dept that he probably has Alzheimer’s Doctor can’t see him for 4 months to confirm. What am I r do?

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  • H1235
    H1235 Member Posts: 1,673
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    Welcome. Sorry you need to be here. I would recommend you get legal matters in order. A dopa, medical poa, will and living will. Also keep in mind that if something were to happen to you he should no longer make decisions for you regarding health or finances. You might also want to consult a lawyer about finances. Dementia care is incredibly expensive. I would keep your expectations low for the neurologist appointment. There is probably not much that can be done as far as treatment and most here have found doctors to be of little help when it come to day to day things. I would recommend you learn all you can about dementia. How you interact and approach things with him can make a big difference. Knowing what to expect down the road will help you make a plan for the future. This site has been wonderful. You can also search a specific topic and read through old posts. I will attached some resources I wish I had had in the very beginning. I hope this helps.

  • Robert1320
    Robert1320 Member Posts: 25
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    If your husband is receiving SSA benefits, now is the time for him to nominate a representative payee online. (It's very easy.) SSA does not always accept a POA.

  • dancsfo
    dancsfo Member Posts: 338
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    edited January 23

    While I agree that "probably not much that can be done as far as treatment and most here have found doctors to be of little help when it come to day to day things.", I would still pursue seeing a doctor, in addition to the other recommendations. There are different types of dementia-like symptoms, and until you can rule that out, it would be good to see a neurologist even if you wait for 4 months. So don't put that off, even if you set expectations low. But as you wrote, if your husband likely has Alzheimer's, you just have to learn how to deal with all the consequences. I'm so sorry you are joining a group that nobody wants to join.

    Consider finding an in-person (or live video) support group perhaps through your medical provider or a local government agency, to augment what you can find in this forum. A chance to talk to others in the same situation can be a good way to help yourself.

  • Michele P
    Michele P Member Posts: 330
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    if your husband has not had an MRI, PET scan, or blood test to diagnose Alzheimer’s, request those tests while you wait. The doctor can call you to discuss test results and any necessary further gene testing for APOE 4 gene. If the disease is caught in early stages, they are drug infusion options to slow the progression. These infusions are not a cure and will not stop the progression. You need a definitive diagnosis. They initially thought my husband with MCI had Alzheimer’s. The MRI and PET scan ruled it out. You can have amyloid plaque in your brain and not have Alzheimer’s.

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 3,104
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    welcome. You are at the right place for help and support. While you wait for the appointment, read the book “The 36 Hour Day” which explains the disease. Come here often. You are not alone. 💜

  • sandwichone123
    sandwichone123 Member Posts: 1,182
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    Seeing doctors often doesn't help as much as we think it will. Initial important steps include seeing an attorney and getting Durable Power of Attorney (DPOA) paperwork while he is still able to sign, POA for healthcare, and financial planning. You should also consider getting these documents done, and designating someone other than your spouse as your POA. Alzheimer's is a terribly expensive disease, so seeing an attorney is critical and the price is so much less that you will spend in the long run if you skip this step.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more