Memory Care and Home Visits

ileanabeatriz

Is it always the case that someone in a Memory Care environment should not visit their old home for fear of triggering confusion or a desire to stay there again? Or are there examples where it can be a positive temporary experience? (In our case no one else is currently living in that home. It is located about 20 minutes away).

H1235

You know your loved one best, but I would be cautious. Even if the experience is positive, you may find it to be a regular request you wish you hadn’t started. For us it was not a good experience. Mom wanted to pull the weeds in her garden, wash the living room curtains, go down stairs (she is very unsteady), she also insisted on bringing things back with her. Anything that was wrong with the house was blamed on me and she was upset (her granddaughter lived with her just before she was diagnosed and trashed her house). I also noticed increased confusion, stress and just an increase in symptoms. My mom does have a very strong attachment to her house since she had lived there for over 60 years. For some wanting to go home is more a feeling of comfort and safety rather than an actual place. I have even heard of family bringing their lo to their home only to have them declare that’s not their home. My mom on the other hand is obsessed with her house and her things. She doesn’t want anyone to touch any of her stuff. It’s been an ongoing struggle, but she has asked about it less lately. My mil with dementia had moved around a lot and didn’t have this kind of attachment. She never mentioned any of her previous homes (although I think this is not the norm).

terei

I’m trying to imagine a positive experience resulting from this primarily because of the reasons listed above. If the PWD is asking to go back, it will be better to try to reinforce the idea that where she is is her home now. If she is NOT asking to go back, I would not open a can of worms and take her there either.