Help, non stop sundowning

Sandysdaughter

Hello, I’m new here. I’m too young to be dealing with this.. Mom and I are the last live members of our family and she’s had dementia (clearly to me) for the last 15 years. 5 years ago I took her home with me because I couldn’t find a place she was not being abused. She’s 99% gone. She doesn’t know who I am but she is familiar and comfortable at least. Lately her sundowning is lasting all night long. She sleeps all day despite me hiring caregivers to try to get her up (they do try) and then as soon as the sun goes down, she gets up and gets crazy. She can’t make any words so she just makes sounds and paces through the house getting up and getting down and seems very uncomfortable. She refuses to eat or drink. She is mad if you try to get her to go to the bathroom even if you know she has to go. She is very mobile. I have a baby monitor for her by my bed that is constantly going off. I have read the books, I have looked at all the Google searches. Is this normal?
How much longer is she going to do this? I am exhausted. I work, I have for teenage kids and husband. I want to know from people who are actually living through this. What do you do?

easy23

This sounds so terrible for you and your family! Is she medicated? Contact her primary care doctor or geriatric psychiatrist to get her some meds /adjust meds to calm her down and get her on a normal night/day schedule. Can you switch the companions to nighttime until things turn around?

Have you visited an elder law attorney? You can't go on like this.

EH404

Yes to seeing the primary Dr, ask for them to check her hormones. Really. I work with a dementia expert & my mom lives in memory care. What I’ve learned since working for the dementia expert blows my mind, as he serves people with basic straight forward interventions that our drs have never even suggested. He used to run a memory care facility. His company is called “A Mind for All Seasons,” great website. Back to hormones, he had a former flight attendant in his memory care facility who had similar behavior. It turned out her estrogen was non existent (found via blood work) and when they got her levels stable, plus melatonin & probably some other med to help her sleep, things improved dramatically. Wishing you all the best best. It is so hard.