How do I go about transferring my parent to another memory care

Merla

I'm wondering how to approach the subject of transferring my parent to a different memory care in a different state with her current memory care. I'm happy with the current memory care but I would like my parent to be local to me as I am her power of attorney and there is no longer the same compelling reasons for her to be located where she is.

I'm nearly 100% sold on her moving by me. And there are only two facilities near me I'd consider and I'm going to give the one closer to me a go.

What would be a prudent way for me to start the conversation with her current t facility? This is going to require some coordination of care. The new facility will need to do an in person assessment. They will need her medical records. I want her to transition directly to the new facility with at most one night in a hotel.

SDianeL

my husband transferred from a McDonald’s facility to a VA facility. The previous facility’s nurse and social worker helped with coordination. They transported him by ambulance. They took all of his belongings except his recliner. The new facility didn’t allow power recliners. I would contact the current facility director and explain the situation. I don’t see a reason why a night in a hotel would be necessary.

harshedbuzz

When my aunt did this with her sister(auntie), she coordinated with the SNF in one state where auntie was having rehab and the CCRC's MCF to which she was moving. The DONs spoke by phone to discuss needs and the medical piece, and the social worker at the CCRC helped aunt manage the logistics.

When dad went to rehab near me, the social worker did offer to arrange a transfer to a SNF the parent company also owner nearer where mom and dad were living at the time. If this is part of a chain, that might be an easy option.

Aunt rode with her sister in the medical transport for the 3-hour ride. A senior moving company moved some furniture and clothing from her home to the CCRC. Aunt made sure auntie's suite was set up and when the van arrived, she moved straight into her new place. They arrived just before dinner during which they joined the other residents. Auntie made the adjustment really well.

HB

H1235

If I remember right she is a fair distance away. There is no way the new facility can do an in person evaluation. Maybe they would want to do some kind of virtual evaluation. I would think the new facility would contact the current facility to request necessary paperwork regarding her care needs and current condition. I would expect you will need to make sure this is happening and prod everyone to make sure it all happens in a timely manner. I imagine a lot of phone calls and emails to make it all happen. I would not get her on a plane until you are told everything is set and ready to go.

Merla

I am contemplating moving her a 5 hour plane ride away. The new facility is a chain so they can send a nurse to do the assessment locally to my mom. However they all want to do an in person assessment the day of. So I'm thinking we may need to spend one night in a hotel by my house. I don't think it's fair to give an assessment to someone with dementia after a 5 hour plane ride and I don't think she could arrive on time any how for the assessment any how.

In my ideal world I would like someone in my family to fly out with my mom so I don't have to do it all. And so i can have everything ready on the receiving end.

Of course I'm worried about all the logistics. And I'm not going to set any of the pieces in motion until I know for sure it will work out.

CaliforniaGirl-1

I moved my LO across the country to a MC near me. I found a MC I liked and then I told them both and they coordinated. But I had to do a fair amount of project management to make sure the new MC got all the paperwork they needed. They had to do a video assessment and get medical information and I had to get all the residency stuff going. Then we finalized a move in date with a little flexibility and a move out date. We did have to start paying for the new place a couple of weeks before we actually physically moved in. That gave us a little more flexibility.

I called the new place and kept checking until they had everything they needed. Once we were all set and had it nailed down I made travel arrangements and since we were already paying for the new place we just needed to coordinate the actual move in and make sure even if travel was very delayed there would be people there to receive my LO. And we were very delayed.

One of my family volunteered to help pack up and to fly with us to help get my LO through the trip with me so I could go to the bathroom and so forth without leaving my LO alone. I moved my LO from one place to another that were both part of the same chain but it still took a lot of checking and nudging.

As I remember we were able to convince my LO to use a wheelchair at the airport and we arranged that in advance with the airline. This made it do-able to get through the huge airport and we carried the walker onto the plane,

With my LO, I wouldn't stay in a hotel overnight in a strange place with my LO. I would worry that they would wander out while I was sleeping or try and get up and fall. Is the assessment for allowing entry or for assessing care level and cognitive ability? If the latter, any transition is going to set your LO back. The MC should be used to that. You can ask them to give your LO a few weeks and re-assess, but they may be safer and it is one less transition to bring them right to where they will be living. Of course everyone is different

ARIL

Your original post asked about “approach[ing] the subject of transferring my parent to a different memory care,” which suggested to me that you may be concerned about initiating the subject with the current facility. If that’s the case, please don’t worry. Facilities are used to this, and bringing your parent near you is an excellent reason for the switch.

I moved my parent across states, and although the two facilities did some limited coordination (having an initial cognitive assessment by Zoom, having a nurse-to-nurse conversation), basically the logistics were left to me. We did have to pay at both places for a short period to make it all happen.

Despite the difficulties, I’d do it all again. Right now I am at the MC after work visiting my parent, who is sleeping. But I brought some supplies and clean laundry, and I am checking in. This was impossible long-distance.