Stage 8

CindyBum · February 3

My vibrant, joyful, beautiful Suze passed peacefully last night. True to the fighter in her, she fought for 11 days without food or drink, giving a frustrated growl with her last breath. She finally let go to be free from this mean, mean disease, but she wasn’t happy about it. Ha!

She was the love of my life. I’ll miss her desperately, but will feel her boundless energy, love and light the rest of my days. I am grateful for all she gave me and all we shared together.

It’s been a very hard 8 years, with last 3 totally exhausting. I’m free too, though I didn’t ever want to be free of my DW. I’m sort of ok with waves of sadness, but having 11days to say goodbye was, perhaps, Suze’s final gift to me. I was ready for her to take her last breath as I stroked her face and told her I loved her and it was ok to go.

And now I rest for a while and see where my next phase takes me. I’m in no rush. Just looking at the wonderful pictures and remembering all the laughs we had, which were pretty darn constant.

tonyac2 · February 3

My heart breaks for you @CindyBum. I am so sorry that this day is here and so sorry for your loss. Thank you for giving us a peek into your private life through the pictures. You were a great caregiver with a great sense of humor. Prayers for the days ahead.

White Crane · February 3

Cindy, I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear Suze. I know the struggles of the last years were not easy for either of you. You have been a wonderful caregiver. Praying you find peace and comfort in the coming days. Sending big hugs.

Brenda

jgreen · February 3

What a beautiful woman and a lovely couple, @CindyBum

May she rest in peace. I pray fort you now and send warm hugs. 💝. Take some time to grieve and do come back and let us know how you are doing.

JoAnn

Kat63 · February 3

So sorry for the loss of your dear Suzie. Thanks for sharing the beautiful pictures. So glad you had the days at the end to hold her hand and reflect on the wonderful love you shared. May peace and comfort be with you.

annie51 · February 3

So sorry for your loss. Thank you for posting the pictures. You have been amazing in your care which is a reflection of your deep love for her. Stage 8 has its own strange mix of emotions but we’re here for you when you need us. May you find peace in knowing you did everything for her and you were with her till the end.

Chance Rider · February 3

@CindyBum

I’m so sorry for the loss of your beautiful wife Suze, at the same time I’m glad her suffering from this dreadful disease is over. Thank you for sharing the pictures and giving us a glimpse of your life together. I hope you’ll continue to post here, your insights are so helpful.
Sending hugs 💟

GothicGremlin · February 3

Yes, @CindyBum , it's time to get your bearings, take some rest.

I'm so sorry for your loss of Suze. I love all of the photos you shared with us - I can see the joy in your faces.

@annie51 is right - Stage 8 is a weird, sometimes bewildering time, definitely a mix of emotions. We're all here for you when you're ready. Please take care.

And - yay Mendocino! I've always loved visiting there.

Michele P · February 3

I am so sorry for your loss. You were a wonderful wife and caregiver.

Call me Gram · February 3

Thank you for sharing these beautiful photos, CindyBum, and for sharing your experiences with us. Sending heartfelt wishes for peace and comfort.

wose · February 3

Dear @CindyBum …..I am so sorry for this great loss. Your pictures of you and Suze speak volumes of the love you’ve shared. Hold onto to that. I’ve learned so much from you and your posts. I will be forever grateful. Rest now, sending you hugs 💕💙

Stan2 · February 3

So sorry for your loss @CindyBum . Thank you for sharing with us.

Sunfish47 · February 4

My condolences to you. Such a cruel difficult journey. May her memory be for a blessing. Now to concentrate on all the happy years you shared.

RetiredTeacher · February 4

My sincere sympathy on your loss. Thank you for sharing the beautiful photos of the love you shared. Your devotion to each other is evident in the puctures. Know that your DW is no longer suffering and she would want you to remember all the good memories and to carry on,continuing to live your life. You have been an inspiration to all of us on what kind of caregiver we should aspire to be. Sending prayers for strength during stage 8. Please continue to post as many here are not as far along in our journeys and wonder how we will handle stage 8. Siding 🫂, 🙏 and ❤️

Jgirl57 · February 4

RIP; Peace to you and your family. Thank you for sharing the lovely photos.

cavenson · February 4

May the many good memories you have of life with Suze bring you comfort during this very sad time. You were a wonderful and loving caregiver during some difficult times. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. Now, as you journey through grief, be gentle with yourself.

Goodlife2025 · February 4

Cindy, so sad for you as your walk without Suzie by your side begins. Your open manner sharing your life with your wife has been such a source of strength and inspiration for me. The pictures speak volumes; may you have a million wonderful comforting memories.

Marla13 · February 4

May she rest in peace. Such beautiful pictures.

psg712 · February 4

So sorry for the loss of your love. You cared for her so beautifully through this horrible illness. Peace and healing for your heart.

SDianeL · February 4

I’m so sorry. Suze was lucky to have you and your love. Thank you for sharing Suze with us. True love is forever. May you find strength and comfort in the days ahead. Allow yourself to grieve. Grief is the price we pay for love. Hugs. Diane.

Metta · February 4

Strength and peace. Your photos show such joy and love! May Stage 8 be kind to you as you grieve.

Biggles · February 4

The look of love, life, laughter and such fun in those photos underscores this disease as being so very unfair. I hope you can continue to live life to the full for the sake of your DW and her memories.

persevere · February 4

What a beautiful couple you were. Thanks for sharing the pictures. All of us here on this website share a special bond. Keep in touch and let us know how you're getting along.

suvi · February 4

May your Suze rest in peace. Thank you for sharing the beautiful photos, I’m so sorry for your devastating loss.

Beachfan · February 4

I am sorry to learn of your Suze’s passing and wish you peace and strength going forward. (Suze is surely at peace.) Your photos are a testament to your enduring love and strong bond. Frame a favorite, keep it at your bedside and wish her a good night every night. It helps.💕💕

CMC62 · February 4

I am so sorry for your loss. The photos show so much love. Wishing you peace going forward.

ronda b · February 4

Such happy beautiful pictures. Always keep them in your heart and not the agonizing ones. So sorry for loss .

CindyBum · February 4

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/265187#Comment_265187

It is so weird. I went for a walk on the beach yesterday and cried to myself about never getting to enjoy that with Suze again. Then I realized we hadn’t been able to enjoy a beach walk together for years. I’ve already said goodbye to so much of what we had together, yet I still am crying about not ever seeing her again. And yet, I feel free again too and know I’m happy she’s been set free too.

Gahhhhhhj

A. Marie · February 4

Hands across the miles to you, CindyBum, as you navigate this new stage of grief. You were a wonderful caregiver for Suze, always. The pictures are wonderful. And I absolutely understand the mix of emotions you describe so well in your 12:29 post.

CampCarol · February 4

I'm so sorry for your loss. You were a wonderful wife and care partner to Suze! And thank you for being a part of this forum, so many of your posts were helpful to me. I'm sending thoughts and prayers your way as you transition to stage 8. Be good to yourself…

Karen711 · February 5

Dear Cindy- The moment we all anticipate, hope for occasionally, and dread with all our hearts has arrived. I’m so very sorry for the loss of your Dear Wife Suze! Your pictures paint a thousand words of a life filled with love and joy, thank you for sharing them. Thank you also for your many insightful posts, fearlessly sharing your vulnerability which has validated many of my own experiences, and your humor which so often showed up right in the nick of time. Thank you too for encouraging me to participate in this group. Your assurance that this was indeed a place I could trust to be myself - has been proven over and over! May you find some peace in knowing your Dear Suze is no longer suffering this horrific burden. I hope you will be able to get some rest in the coming days and find some peace in knowing you showed up for her 1000%.

💜

Stage 8

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