Every stage of this disease is heart breaking

RetiredTeacher

My DH is not as far a long as some but it is so tough when you see each decline. He can still do most of his ADLs but showering needs some assistance. His memory has been better than declining executive function, mobility, hearing, vision, fine motor and comprehension. He has recently forgotten what we just talked about, just a few minutes earlier. He asks questions that were recently answered. He can still pour a bowl of cereal and make a sandwich but I asked him to open a pot top can of soup last night. He was able to do it but when I told him to pour it in the cup I watched him pick up the empty cup and try to pour it in the full can of soup. He realized it wasn't working so he tried pouring the soup from the can into the cup and i handed him a spoon to scrape out the rest of the soup. He was going to use the handle end of the spoon to clean the can.... He is still continent for now but that's changing too. We went to lunch yesterday and had a quick stop before the restaurant. He went before we left, had to use the car urinal before going in to the store, barely got back to the car urinal before dribbling a bit on his jeans. He had to get to the restaurant bathroom before we could be seated. I can see his abilities quickly fading, memory now being affected and incontinence right around the corner. Every stage of this awful disease hurts!!!

easy23

i agree RetiredTeacher. I just got back from the nursing home visiting my DH. It took 3 people to change my husband's diaper. I felt so bad for him as this is not what he wants for himself. It's heartbreaking.

BPS

I also agree. Each step I get to point that I can except that is where she is then it changes. My wife is in memory care and is mostly bedridden and is on hospice. She would have rather died then to live this way not knowing where she is or what is going on.

RetiredTeacher

Just heart breaking for all of us. I know my DH and I have not hit the really tough times yet.

Goodlife2025

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/265532#Comment_265532

For some time now I have been loosely tracking the various behaviors and estimated stages of each PWD of my fellow caretakers on this site. Maybe seeking some comfort in knowing I am not alone and others are right where I am. Learning of the similar and maybe a little in sight into what else might happen next. Retired Teacher you have been that person in my world. I share the daily subtle changes that occur in late stage 5 early stage 6. Almost feels like a type of acceleration that I can't quite wrap my own mind around. The start of incontinence. We too have been dealing for some time with the urgency and need to go to the bathroom at each stop, arrival, and before departure. The dribbles from a near miss. And then the day it is evident underwear will never work for us again followed by a few more days that are more "normal". We know it is time to make this and many more adjustments. But I just want to hang on to what we still have, what she can still manage a little longer. I hate everything about this disease. I understand and am right there cheering you on. Stage 6 UGH!!!

RetiredTeacher

Goodlife2025, I find a bizarre comfort in knowing someone else understands and is going through the same thing. DH refuses to go to the Dr, doesn't want any more tests or evaluations and I have had to guess at the stages using DBAT scales. I still try my best to plan activities, outings and enjoyable experiences but my heart is heavy and I am seriously dreading what's to come. Pls continue to post because caregivers of all stages can understand what is to come and give us support and advice.

Russinator

((HUGS))

Call me Gram

💔