My mother

Penny16

My mom has dementia and extreme aphasia (trouble with speaking/words). I have a tough time dealing with active grief around certain things like forgetting it’s my birthday and other life events. Wha suggestions do you have?

psg712

Yes those are sad times when you come face to face with losses that feel so personal. The things that remind you that the mom you knew is no longer with you or is terribly diminished. Agree with Susan that it helps to realize this isn't your mom's choice; in her right mind, she would certainly remember your birthday and other special times. It also helps me to think of dementia as the real culprit here. Tough times in your relationship are not her fault or yours. It's that evil brain disease that's to blame.

I know it hurts. I remember the first time my mom pointed to her address book, where she had my birth and anniversary dates written under my address and phone number, and said "I don't know what these numbers are for." I thought, how can she forget the day she became a mom? It was a hard reality check. Hugs to you and all who struggle with loss.