Follow up on “Can’t Sleep” post

wose

Me …miss needy here again. I am still really struggling so I got an appointment with my Dr for this afternoon. Since the Geri Psych appointment with DH isn’t until Mar 9, I figured I need to help myself before that before I collapse. I can only get 2-3 hours of sleep but not because he wakes me. I just can’t sleep. I can’t eat either. I took DH to his lung appointment yesterday and his Dr pulled me aside and asked if I was ok. He was the 1st person to tell me I need help. I really look bad. He sent info to me about programs offered through our insurance. My question is .. do you think an antidepressant would help me ? My 2nd question is .. what happens if I get a caregiver for my DH and he gets abusive and I’m gone? Im used to the abuse, so I can deal. Would a caregiver call 911 if I weren’t around to come back? I’m still working on medication adjustments but we’re not there yet. I feel so bad cause he’s against respite care for me. He keeps saying “it’s my house, you need to go” but we all know I can’t. I guess I’m just exhausted, mostly from the verbal beat downs. I got his pc appt moved up to Feb25. I’m just praying for Feb 25 and Mar 9 to get here quick. I hope I’m not getting my hope up too much. Usually, his doctor appointments are useless.

I stumbled on the “ Can’t Sleep post.. so I decided to post this. I usually type away every day but don’t post them cause it’s always the same story with me🙃

Bailey's Mom

Wose, I feel for you. I was wondering the same thing about how much abuse a caregiver would take before calling 911. Hopefully someone will respond who has gone through that experience. Take care…

CMC62

I have not been through that and do not have answers for you, but I just wanted to say I hope you can get some respite whether your husband is against it or not. You need to think of your own health too. Caring for him is important, but so is caring for yourself. I hope you can get some rest.

BPS

Can you get a video of his actions and show it to his doctor but also to a care taker so they know what to expect and make sure they know to call you not 911. If it is that you can't sleep due to the stress, taking something would be good if you think that he may need something while you sleep is there someone that can stay the night with you so you can take something and feel like if your needed the other person there can get you just to help lower your intense guard. You need sleep

persevere

Wose, you really seem to have a very difficult situation. Hard to know where DH is stage wise but he’s still cognizant enough to give you a hard time. Couple things. One, he probably is ready for some kind of antipsychotic like serequol or risperdone. And two, you have to be careful about sleep aids if he ever gets up in the middle of the night and you’re zonked. If he qualifies maybe bring hospice in. The thing about hospice is it’s fairly immediate for getting meds to help quell behavior rather than waiting on appointments.

dayn2nite2

I would hope a caregiver would call 911 before they are hurt and would expect them to.

Is there a reluctance to have 911 called? You may feel you can handle him, but you are in a dangerous position with him in this state. I think you are so sleep-deprived you can't see what a dangerous situation you and he are in. What plans do you have for his care if he kills you?

This couple was in assisted living and the husband with dementia stabbed his wife to death.
https://www.fox13seattle.com/news/2-million-bail-bellevue-senior-murder

wose

My Dr. put me on a beta blocker to help with rapid heartbeat even tho I don’t have heart issues. She felt my heart palpitations and rapid heartbeats were stress induced. The beta blocker should slow down my heart and in turn can help with sleep. She also put me on the lowest dose of Cymbalta which should help with anxiety and has the added benefit of reducing nerve and bone pain. I feel better now that I was able to get some help. I’m very grateful that I can post here without judgement. Thank you for sound advice.

Goodlife2025

Wose, glad you took that first step to take care of yourself. Now hopefully you will get some deep sleep and the rest will be easier to deal with.

trottingalong

I’m glad you made the appointment with the doctor. About a year and a half ago I bit the bullet and started taking a low dose of Prozac. It definitely helps me. I also walk. Just up and down my street with deep breaths. Every chance I get, the walking helps.

Biggles

I have nothing that I can offer except empathy and care. What a dreadfully hard situation you are in. My only thoughts would be to look after your DH but for a time put yourself and your needs first.
Methodically - firstly make sure you are eating correctly small meat and four veggies, fresh fruit and lots of water. Secondly fresh air and sunshine sit in it, walk in it, breath it in, listen to the sounds of the birds or wildlife, and yes walking helps, and if you can sleep if possible. Find a doctor that you like and trust and listen to their advice, try the antidepressants and anything else they recommend but be aware if the drugs don’t suit stop them. This is an awful situation for you and your DH and you need all the help you can muster.Please take care and know that like everyone else here, my thoughts are with you.

Call me Gram

Wose, you have received some good guidance here.

I will add some of my experience w/medication… I took Celexa (citalopram SSRI) for anxiety in the past and it helped tremendously. Unfortunately, I have a gastrointestinal issue that was exacerbated by the Celexa (not usual for everyone, just specific to my circumstances). When DH started having symptoms of Alzheimer's and I was feeling panicked, my counselor recommended Cymbalta (duloxetine SNRI). It has helped so much, and without any of the gastrointestinal side effects.

The medication doesn't stop me from worrying, but it reduces the physical side effects… headaches, upset stomach, racing heart, etc. It makes me feel like I can make it through the day without having a panick attack.

Praying you can find some relief from all you are facing. Thinking of you!

Michele P

We were given the suggestion to take Sleep 3 by a sleep doctor. It has no drugs in it that will leave you feeling drugged in the morning. Grounding mattress covers also help with sleep. Meditating also helps.