How do you tell them ?

BarnesL

My DW just had a brain MRI. I got the results online and the stand out impression was disproportionately prominent volume loss in the mesial lobes, especially on the left ,as may be seen with Alzheimer's disease and other dementias. I haven't told her yet and not sure how to or if I should. Please share any discussions you may have had on this with your loved one. Thank you.

H1235

I think a lot will depend on what stage she is at. If she is still stage 4 maybe stage 5 you might give it a try. I have heard of people being told, then never bringing it up again. I would let her be the guide there. If you do tell her pay attention to how she responds. If she tells you they made a mistake, then just agree and drop it. My mom wanted to know more about dementia so I printed out information for her and took her to the library. Six months later she was angry because I wouldn’t let her have any information and was suspicious i was keeping things from her. It seems it’s always a no win situation. She accepted she had dementia, but believes she has no symptoms or very very mild symptoms. This is called anosognosia and is common and very difficult to deal with. Have you seen a lawyer. This is important. If necessary I would suggest it as something you need to do because you are getting older. My mom was willing to see the lawyer, knowing she had dementia, but didn’t see any big rush. There is a big rush! I will attach a staging tool in case you haven’t seen it yet and a link about anosognosia.

DBAT.pdf

Anosognosia and Dementia - AgingCare.com.pdf

Maru

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/75342/how-do-you-tell-them

Surely her doctor will tell her. An MRI alone is not a enough to have a diagnosis of Alzheimers. Her doctor will probably refer her to a neurologist and the neurologist will run a battery of tests. When my DH finally did get his ALZ diagnosis we had a very frank discussion about it. He knew that there was something wrong several years before he was finally tested and was actually relieved to know that he wasn't just imaging it. We had just blown it off as normal aging. I suspect that your DW knows that something is wrong. Make sure you get all your powers of attorney in place now…medical and financial.

Chance Rider

Upon reviewing the MRI results my husband’s PCP stated that he only saw effects of normal aging. I knew it was more so requested a referral to a neurologist, who then arranged a 3 hour video session assessment with a neuropsychologist and neuropsychiatrist. At the end of that call they gave us the diagnosis of ALZ. A blood test later confirmed the diagnosis.
My husband heard the diagnosis during the call and then again when we had a follow-up with his neurologist. I tried to discuss it with my husband but anosogosia kept him from recognizing or acknowledging the diagnosis. He got angry when I tried to talk with him about it so I no longer do. He does willingly go to his numerous doctor appointments and takes his meds. In our case, there’s no reason to bring it up again.

Will there be a follow up appointment with her doctors? My husband accepts info from his VA GeriPACT doctor more readily than from me.

I’m sorry you and your DW are on this journey. You’ve come to a great place for support, to vent, and to be seen and heard.

SDianeL

The Neurologist told my husband the CT scan showed “white matter disease” probably vascular and never said the words Alzheimer’s or dementia. She did put it in the report on the portal. I told my husband the doctor was a brain doctor. She prescribed Memantine and he asked what they were for and I said to help his brain work better and he was satisfied with that answer. He took the 3 hour Neuro Psyche test and she called and spoke to me about the results. I did not tell him anything except that he should no longer be driving. I would take cues from your DW about how much to tell her. Start with what the MRI showed without saying Alzheimer’s or dementia and see how she reacts. Tell her as much as she wants to know but stop if she exhibits anxiety or says the reports are wrong. So sorry about her diagnosis. Come here often for info and support.