Adjusting to MC

ileanabeatriz

After bringing our 82 yo LO to MC for the first time (with no difficulty, thank God) one week later I had to take him to an outside doctor appt and he pretty quickly thought I was going to “bring him home.” When we returned to the MC he seemed mad about that (though thankfully did not refuse to go in). Staff says he is generally adapting well so now I wonder if I should delay another visit - but for how long? (He likely has FTD).

SDianeL

I would question taking him to an outside doctor appointment. Does the facility have a doctor on staff that could handle the need? I stopped all specialist visits after my DH went in memory care. I doubt waiting will help. He may react this way until the disease progresses more.

MN Chickadee

It was many months for my mother. She packed up her room to "go home" for the better part of a year. We avoided taking her out of the facility for about 4 months, other than the gated courtyard. The facility had a doctor who did rounds on site. They also had a podiatrist and hair stylist so she was set. After 8-10 months she had not only settled in but the disease had progressed and she seemed to have forgotten her old home. In fact eventually I brought her back to the house - my siblings and dad and I set up lawn chairs in the driveway as a way to socialize in the early days of covid. She sat there looking at the house for the entire hour and didn't seem to recognize it at all. Had no trouble leaving. Had I done that in the first few months of memory care she would have refused to go back into the facility, or at least been all out of sorts after. I do wonder if I had taken her to her childhood home if that would resonate - they are often living way back in time.

It's often kinder to keep their world small in the early days after the move to a facility and maintain predictable routine until they settle in. If you must take him out for an appointment be prepared for him to have some setbacks after.

SusanB-dil

Agreeing with other posts… but if you do need to bring him out, you may have to say that the MC is doctor's orders for now. Worst case, you could even say that the house is being worked on, as in a burst water pipe or electrical wiring, or whatever works.