How to handle selling the toys

mscarsue

Hi. I am new to all of this. My DH has been diagnosed with moderate to severe LBD. We live in the country and he has many toys. I have all the keys to the toys but it is almost a daily game of asking if he can use the John Deere to move the snow or another piece of equipment. I know I will need to sell the toys, but do I involve DH in the process or just do it? How do you handle the backlash afterwards?

Timmyd

For us, there was a period of a few years where DW could not drive but was still very attached to her car. I would drive her in her car and it would make her happy. Fortunately she rarely asked to drive. After some period of time, the disease progressed, she became disinterested in her car, and I sold it without any complaint. I guess my point is that there was a period of time where she could not use her toys but was still attached to them. Then she wasn't and I sold them.

annie51

I had the same experience as @Timmyd. DH eventually lost interest in things over time and then it was easy to just sell them.

Chance Rider

As @Timmyd and @annie51 experienced, my husband lost interest in his toys so it was easier for me to sell them. We also live in the country so it meant selling our tractor, motorcycles, etc., and soon I’ll be selling the horse trailer. I think it may actually have been harder on me since I was aware of the significance of getting rid of things.

jgreen

Welcome @mscarsue Glad you found us.

My DH is right where yours is at - wants to use his toys, or work on them! I wish I could sell them but we are not at that point yet. He is a little better at letting me drive the car but every once in a while when he feels the need he will demand the keys so he can drive himself. Those are the battles I try to avoid.

We have a boat that is depreciating in value daily and an airplane ‘kit’ that he was trying to build when this awful disease took over! So I have parts and pieces everywhere and he is online looking for more pieces for projects he will not be able to finish! It is frustrating, sad, disheartening, and messy! And I just try to look past all of it (not my nature) and concentrate on small things that will keep him calm and feeling secure and loved. That’s all the love and patience I have these days.

I know there will come a day when I can sell or get rid of all the stuff - but will that make me feel any better? Just thinking that thought helps me deal with the present and see that he finds some pleasure in looking at and touching his toys.

You will find a way to manage your DH’s toys that works for situation. God bless you and your DH.

countrywife

My DH and I have had some brief discussion about selling extra vehicles and “toys” from our farm that are not being used now that he is no longer driving and I have no interest in using them. I’m hoping we can move forward on selling a few of these items mostly to make things easier in the future. We have all of our legal docs in order and our attorney said that once DH gets to the point where he is unable to sign for himself, there will be another document for me to obtain in order to sign for him. I didn’t ask her exactly what that is just yet but I’m assuming it’s something for the Dr to attest to his inability. My question to those who have sold vehicles, etc, was your LO able to sign off on titles or did you sign on their behalf? His name is in the title of vehicles I don’t intend to sell as well.

debriesea

Although our names are joint on vehicles and property, I was able to sell and buy our rental properties by using our Trust, which includes DPOA & POA, along with a letter from my DH’s Dr stating he has been diagnosed with major neurocognitive disorder consistent with Alzheimer’s disease and is incapable of making financial or life decisions. He is receiving treatment and on-going support due to the progressive nature of this disease.
The lawyers for the buyers and sellers had no issue with this.
Medically, all that was needed was a copy of the POA and the Dr’s letter.
I hope this helps.

countrywife

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/266969#Comment_266969

Thank you. That sounds very doable when the time comes. I want to be respectful of my DH and not rush things for him since he’s still very much aware of things. At the same time, I feared waiting too long.

mscarsue

Thank you everyone, your comments were very helpful.

​NorthWoods

Our toys all started developing problems. I pulled all the fuses from one, a friend took a belt off another. Power tools all were “borrowed” by neighbors. I let him use the snowblower because it’s essentially a giant walker. He never did notice that it never ran out of gas. The gas was across the street and I’d refill it when he was otherwise occupied. So selling things depends on how attached he is but disabled or remove dangerous ones. Best