This says it all…

annie51

I’ve been in Stage 8 now for almost 2 months. I read this today and this puts in words exactly how we feel through this journey. My thoughts are with those of you still struggling with your LO or with the final goodbye.

Miles2Go

Thank you for this. It is so true. I have also been grieving for a few years - anticipating the final day. My DH passed a week ago. The grief I am experiencing now is different. I feel a calmness knowing that he no longer suffers, yet I miss him so much. He suffered so much the past six years both mentally from dementia, and physically from several ailments.

My prayers to all on the journey. It is not something any of us asked for although it is a labor of Love.

howhale

Thank you for sharing these words. It truly captures our journey and I hope those who are still caring for their loved one will read it and embrace the message.

annie51

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/266889#Comment_266889

So sorry for your loss. I know what you mean when you talk about the grief being different and the calmness you feel. We miss them but seeing them suffer every day is much worse.

jgreen

Thank you, @annie51 God bless you

Biggles

This is the journey indeed, so long, so sad, so unbearable.

Goodlife2025

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/266889#Comment_266889

So sorry to hear you have recently moved into stage 8 but glad you don't have to watch him suffer any longer. Hoping you have the support of family and friends at this time.

CindyBum

Tomorrow will be exactly one month since my DW passed.

This poem is right on from my experience. I have had many moments when I'd think of something lost and remember that I already said goodbye to it. Even our future together.

I have been sad, but I've also felt calm and relief that she is free of dementia and it's meanness.

Thank you for the poem, annie51!

persevere

Oh my, I was thinking about something similar today and was going to post but I’m compelled to just put it here. I took my DW for a drive today. I knew it would be short and she would get agitated and the next 10 minutes home would be torture. But at some point I became melancholy and it occurred to me that we had never said goodbye to each other. I am getting a little choked up just writing this. I think that’s something we all suffer from deep down. By the time you want to say goodbye they don’t know who you are or what you’re talking about. I’m not very religious but I pray that it is true that sometimes they become very lucid at the end so we can say goodbye to each other.

CindyBum

Oh perservere. Big hug.

Karen711

Hi Annie- thank you for stopping by, thank you for the poem- ugh so true, and thank you for your well wishes! Sending a hug 💜

annie51

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/267150#Comment_267150

I can tell you my experience. My DH had a quick and painless death (likely a massive heart attack) but just before that he was a little more responsive to me and walking better than he had in weeks. He responded “I love you too” when I told him I loved him, and when he stood up he said he wanted a kiss - it had been a while since he did this. About a half hour later he was gone.

Michele P

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/267150#Comment_267150

We had several experiences with my mil who had Alzheimer’s where she was coherent again for several hours after years of being nonverbal. The most remarkable was the day her husband died. She began talking and told us saying he was there in the room and thanked us for his favorite alcoholic beverage that we placed in his coffin. No one knew we placed the bottle in his coffin. For 8 hours, she was back. She had conversations with us and told us what she understood about her condition. She was aware of what was happening and that we were taking care of her. At the time, she was in stage 6-7 and bedridden. At the end of the 8 hours, it was if a switch went off, and she reversed back to nonverbal with hands clinched. Talk to your wife. You can still say goodbye.

persevere

Thank you for that. Something to look forward to.

persevere

Thanks Annie. I hope I have a similar experience.