There is no 29th day!

MarDel0917

Hey yall!!

Life Has had it's ups and downs. I lost my loving partner (Luis) of 6 years on Novemebr 29th to EOA, he was 46.

December anniversary sucked!!!! It was a Monday. Luckily I was in the position at work that keeps you the busiest so I didnt have to think about him being gone. And thanks goodness for my anti-anxiety med that helped me keep it together.

January anniversary date was a little easier. Still sucked but was a little easier.

February I decided that I would do my hardest and learn how to work on ME!!! Not sure what that looked like as I hadn't been able to do that since the diagnosis in August of 2025. I was/am able to go into grocery stores and not have anxiety. I even went square dancing, something I used to love doing before Luis and i met and during. I actually want to go out and do things in public. Except something feels off this month. There is no 29th day in February (this year at least). I have been okay with it but this week has been exceptionally hard.

Im not sure if its because there is no 29 this month .... OR I have noticed the last two months that as the 29th day approaches I get a little anxious and sad. Is there such a thing as like subconscious loss reminder? Does that make sence? Almost like my brain goes through the loss all over again. I was home with him after I got off work on the Monday of November 24th. November 25th hospice and I decided to do the full transition to end-of-life of life meds. The 26th family came to pay respects. Thanksgiving day i had NO visits. Just myself, my parents Luis's caregiver and mine and Luis's roomate. November 27th non stop visits starting at 7:50am to almost 6pm. That day I think Luis and I had manner 20 minutes to ourself until my eoomate and caregiver said "no more visits! You need your time together with Luis." November 29th Luis passed between 8:30am/9:30 am. Peacefully.

Im not sure where im going with this but there is no 29th day this year in February.

We are all in this together 💜

Goodlife2025

Hi Princess, you have been on my mind so much the past few months. So glad you decided to pop in and let us know how you are doing. You had such a rough year where things escalated quickly and I am sure you just now are beginning to feel like you can catch your breath again. Thank you for sharing what Luis' last week looked like. I know he felt all of your love and support during those days. I am also looking at in home hospice as our path and your story is really the first one someone has shared. Square dancing sounds like an excellent way to get yourself going again and hopefully sunny spring days are ahead. Please drop in again and let us know how you're doing, we are in this together.

jgreen

Dear @MarDel0917

Let’s hope this is God’s way of giving you a small break in your stage 8 journey - no Feb 29. May your dear husband rest in peace and may you find the road a little easier to travel each and every day.

Hugs and prayers. 💝

Victoriaredux

I just remember birthdays for the folks I've lost. Then think about all the happy interesting things they did and were during their lives.

I know the day people pass is a big deal for some but that starts the me living with a loss of them time , I'd rather take them with me as I go into the future. If that makes sense.

SDianeL

Grief is triggered by many things. I can see why it would make you sad. I think I would do something to honor his memory every year on Feb 28 so I wouldn’t be so sad. I know how you feel. I lost my husband 18 months ago. 💜

trottingalong

I believe there is a subconscious loss reminder. My first husband died in a car accident April 29, 1988. He was 33. For so many many years, and even sometimes now, I will have a vivid dream with him in it the night before his death date. And most times I had not remembered that date until my dream. The first few years I did of course, but wanted to honor him on his birth date. Not death. Our subconscious is a strange thing. To this day, those are the most vivid dreams I have ever had and I always wake up sad. It’s very understandable not having a February 29th this year and that it would bother you. Take care.

MarDel0917

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/267102#Comment_267102

Ill always remember his birthday. We shared the day. June 13th, but 6 years apart. 💜💙