what do I do

Theakston

what do expect for my wife who is 78 hears old with alzheimer's, severe RA, bed-ridden and on hospice. WHAT can I do for her, beyond my daily visits. I don't even know what or who to ask.

Carl46

You sound like me, a year ago. I couldn't do anything for my 78 year old wife but visit and let her know she was loved.

What you need to do (and I didn't do enough of) is take care of yourself, physically and spiritually. The hospice organizations used by my wife and my mother included chaplain services, and that was for the family as well as the person in hospice. The chaplain's visits helped me while my wife was dying and for several months thereafter.

I'm sorry you are here with us. God bless you.

BethL

Play soft music for her. Moisten her lips with a wet washcloth if they are crusty. Apply Vaseline to lips. Offer sips of fluid. If she is still taking in food, offer her favorites that she can easily chew and swallow (ice cream, pudding etc). Talk to her - share good memories and tell her you love her. Rub lotion on her hands and arms. Wash her face with a warm washcloth. Rub her back. Comfort measures.

jgreen

Dear @Theakston

Glad you posted. We care about you and your DW.

Hold her hand when you talk with her. Let her know how much you love her and will miss her. Bring in a favorite blanket or pillow for her.

And what @Carl46 said - take care of yourself too.

Sending you prayers that your DW transitions peacefully surrounded by love. Hugs for you 💝

Gator1976

Prayers toy you both. We all know someday we will be there. Reach out as you did to get reassurance you are doing the right things. Comforting her in anyway that pleases her helps both of you. See the satisfaction on her face comforts you too. God bless you both as you navigate thru this final phase together.

Theakston

thank you all for caring! it is just such a blessing to know that others are aware and truly care. your suggestions for expressing and showing compassion and just communicating really validate what i have intuitively felt all along. again, thank you very much!

jfkoc

and please. do continue to let us know how you are doing…..

SDianeL

talk to the hospice nurse. They will explain everything. Also ask for a counselor. Hospice provides them. Hospice is wonderful. So sorry you are at this point. Hugs. 💜🙏