Showtiming

highdeserthopeful

Anybody have experience with this. My dad presents well, extremely well, you gotta spend enough time to know he has Dementia. He studies for what ppl may ask, watch tv to stay updated, and if he lacks the energy to perform he just stays quiet. He wants to return to much younger gf and friends who were exploiting and neglecting him. He has chosen to not acknowledge any abuse or criminal things, they told him to make constant abuse reports against facility and me as conservator, and that has stuck with him. My worry is that I will be removed as conservator, because he presents so well for the 20-25 mins investigators spend, or the few minutes staff spends. Its given me so much Anxiety!

H1235

My mom presents well. She can carry on a normal conversation and her memory isn’t too bad. She has a book on her nightstand so it appears she is still able to enjoy books, but the same book has been there for 6 months with a bookmark in the same place. If we eat out she looks over the menu, but then always orders what someone else is having because the menu is to complicated. Even though she was getting a new toothbrush every 6 months I found out she hadn’t replaced it in, well I hate to even think about it. She says she wants her hearing aids, but has no idea how to use them. She wants her sewing machine, but again can’t use it. I could go on and on. These are all things most people just don’t pick up on. Has he been diagnosed? It seem like the more involved testing that is done to diagnose would support your decision for care. Can’t doctors verify that he is receiving an appropriate level of care. Is he in mc, snf or Al? I would think that with mc or snf the staff would have a good idea what is going on. Many with dementia are unhappy with their loved one’s decisions. I would think anyone looking into this would look into all to test results and paperwork on file. I would suggest you document everything and have it ready to go just in case. Maybe it would give you some peace of mind to know you are ready if there is ever a question. Even with all that said I can understand why you are worried. I am a worrier. For a while I was so worried mom would find a way to contact a lawyer and remove me as DPOA. It’s so stressful. See your doctor about the anxiety if you haven’t already. Anxiety medication has helped me a lot.

highdeserthopeful

Yes, he's been diagnosed with dementia for courts, and he's been in memory care almost a month.

highdeserthopeful

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/267700#Comment_267700

Btw, my dad does similar. He knows if its too much be quiet, but your experience is so similar, you really gotta be around them to know. My dad tells me yesterday, he needs a conservator to come check on him in a facility, while Im standing in his room with his nurse in the facility 😵‍💫. Nurse looks at him, and he looks at me and says, "I mean you do that, but this is not a facility". He's in a licensed memory care 🫠🫠🫠

caregiving daughter

I would assume that with a diagnosis of dementia, and proper clinical documentation in place, that your father cannot remove you as power of attorney. If you have concerns, consult with your attorney. If the POA is not in place, discuss guardianship with your attorney. Please hang in there.

highdeserthopeful

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/267736#Comment_267736

He was diagnosed for conservatorship. Thank You, trying my very best 🙏🏾