The Stranger Living In My Husband’s Body

WIGO23

There is a man who now lives in my husband’s body that I do not know. He follows me around, repeatedly asks the same questions, is often unable to complete the simplest task even with detailed instructions, blames me when he realizes he forgets things or makes mistakes, loses things that are expensive to replace (like eye glasses and hearing aids), can’t tell you the state he lives in much less his address, wants to constantly charge his phone, can’t follow a conversation most times, doesn’t know our grandchildren’s names, never sleeps through the night, paces and checks the doors and windows over and over at night.

I miss my husband who was a great conversationalist, fiercely independent and a helpful life partner. This new man stresses me and makes me profoundly sad.

David1941

Loss & sadness seem to have few boundaries: I pray for you to have & practice memories, as I & others try to do. Sometimes successfully - other times we just grieve. Blessings to you! 🙏

Jeff H

It's a toll on all of us. It's such a sick disease. I hope you find peace. 🙏

SpokaneTom

I have the exact same problem with my wife. For 39 years she has been my best friend, a strong independent woman, one who walks with me, not behind me, someone to whom I've shared every possible thing. Now? Starting seven months ago her personality changed. She now is timid in the extreme. She's incapable of talking about anything complex. Her very speech is limited because ALZ has taken her vocabulary away. She has forgotten that I am her husband. Instead, I am her live-in caretaker. There are days (like today) where she accuses me of forcing her to live in our house, that this is not where she lives, it's not her home, etc. I now live with a complete stranger, sleeping in a different room. I miss my best friend.

So you are not alone in this struggle. And I know for you it is an every single day struggle where you wonder if you can make it in the years that still lie ahead. Because I have the same fears. Take it one day at a time. Our world has shrunk down to a very small place. If you can, find helpful people who can give you a break now and then. People who will come and visit with your husband. It's helped me even if only for an hour or two.

Hang in there.

SDianeL

we know how you feel. Hugs. 💜

Michele P

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/75535/the-stranger-living-in-my-husband-s-body

All of us have gone through this and understand the pain and stress that you are going through. I want to give you another prospective that might help. My husband was diagnosed with MCI. The man I loved was gone. What you described was our life 24/7. The stress was unmanageable. Test results showed that he had no neurodegenerative disease causing the MCI. In a year, we were able to totally reverse the MCI. My husband and I have talked about what it was like for him in that year when he lost his executive function and memory. He had no idea what was going on and found the experience to be extremely frustrating and frightening. His loss of ability to function with the smallest tasks and take care of me shook him to his core. The man you love is still there. We have to live in their world whether we want to or not. They also have no choice in this.

jgreen

I can so relate, @WIGO23! Sending a big hug 💝

annie51

This cruel disease takes a toll. We understand your pain and sadness. Sending hugs.🫂

RetiredTeacher

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/267783#Comment_267783

Michelle P, if i read your post correctly, iI'm curious how the MCI went away. How did you reverse the MCI in one year???

Michele P

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/267802#Comment_267802

Yes, you read the post correctly. We were able to reverse it because there was not a neurodegenerative disease along with the MCI. We have been playing Brain HQ games daily. They build new neurons in the undamaged part of the brain. Additional, we are eating a plant based diet and incorporating food that break through the brain blood barrier to assist with cell repair. I am growing broccoli sprouts which are one of the best foods. We are following Dr. Dean Ornish’s Lifestyle Program. He has slowed down the progression in early stage Alzheimer’s in clinical trials and helped some patients regain lost executive function. We had two separate neuropsychologists test my husband recently. Both confirmed that the MCI is gone!

RetiredTeacher

Thank you for explaining. That us wonderful news and I am so happy for you!