Word of caution. Seeming to be normal is not being normal.

Maru

I got an abrupt wake up yesterday. We had a minor problem with filing our income taxes and I asked my DH with AL, Stage 3, where did he put the copies of the papers we sent to our accountant. When I finally found them, some were missing. He has seemed so normal (other than word and memory loss) for a number of months that I had started treating him as normal. Luckily for us, I was able to get the copies that I needed from the primary source, so no biggie. The quick lesson for me was that I need to make copies of everything that I give to him and keep my own file system.

My dilemma is this: This is a man who has handled corporate finances for many years and I want to treat him with respect and help to preserve his dignity. How do I balance that with the necessity of me being the one responsible one? I know that many of you have also struggled with this issue. And, yes, we have all the legal documents in place.

persevere

My DW was her own real estate company for 25 years. Even before she was diagnosed I had noticed she was mixing up the books between rentals and sales, etc. It wasn’t until I dug in that I discovered a massive mess that took me a month or two to straighten out. And even then it didn’t occur to me what was happening. I guess what I’m saying is you should no longer delegate anything like this to your DH. Anything having to do with finances or legal matters should not be in his court. What I did was essentially take control of her affairs until we finally dissolved the business. But to your point as to how - perhaps just sit with him and say let’s work these things together while all the time you’re simply letting him assist you.

Goodlife2025

Having been through something similar that ended up costing us thousands; as soon as I realized what was happening I just took over. I don't know if it was because I was so freaked out when I discovered the losses or if my DW was really already so confused (yes) but she kinda just let me take charge as though she was secretly relieved. If she asked about a bill, taxes, or something financial I would answer but within just a couple months she never asked about anything financial ever again.

SDianeL

to allow him to continue means that you will have double or more work to do. Sounds like a major problem waiting to happen. I think it’s time to take over everything. Maybe give him household tasks he can help with to make him feel useful.