Parent with middle stage vascular dementia hiding things and paranoid

Jacoland

Hello

My parent 87 y.o lives in an ALF. She hides and loses items in her room and believes people are stealing, stuff like her underwear and PJs.
should I take some of her clothes out of the closet so she can find stuff easier?

Also she starts calling me at 1 am even while taking trazadone 100 mg. Sometimes she is inconsolable. She also takes visteral and buspar for anxiety but nothing seems to work to calm her down.
any suggestions on how to deal with this acute anxiety. When she is with me we try massages, distraction etc nothing works when she gets like this.

Thanks!

jacqueline

pamu

My mom (87YO) has been hiding, losing and throwing away things for a couple years now. She is now in MC and it still happens. She throws away underwear, socks, stuff that the activity people give her and has a bag in her closet that she keeps all of her clothes in "so no one takes them". Her dresser is empty. Paring down your mom's closet/dressers may help with confusion. We now do our mom's laundry so we can keep track of what's being used and what may be missing. Do you think it may be time for your mom to go into MC? She may need a change of medications and that will need closer monitoring. When my mom went into MC we did away with her cell phone. It caused way too much stress for everyone and I think it contributed to her agitation. She has always struggled to use a cell phone (we even tried going back to a land line at one point which did not help). My mom will ask one of the MC nurses to use the unit phone to call me/us and it has worked well. She didn't like it at first but last week in a moment of clarity she told me that she was glad she didn't have one anymore.

Jacoland

thank you for your response, she might be ready for memory care but she has made several friends and I can’t uproot her. Even though she doesn’t remember all their names, they know her and tell me that they love her.
I’m going to go over there today and definitely get rid of some stuff so it makes it easy for her to find items she has misplaced. She did ask me to keep her wallet for her. She was constantly thinking somebody stole it, even though there’s nothing in the wallet except for some photos and business cards.

I’m thinking in the next several months. I’m going to have to get her a dementia type of phone .

Thanks again!

SusanB-dil

Do let her doc know about the increased agitation.

Melatonin helped MIL for a little while - but always, always check with her doc before even giving that.

Jacoland

thank you, I will!

SDianeL

In my opinion, an ALF is not sufficient care for someone in middle stages of dementia. They do not provide 24/7 care. They are not locked and secure. She could leave. MC facilities are locked and secure and the caregivers are trained better to care for PWD. A dementia phone may only work for a very short period of time. I tried it and within a month my DH could no longer use it. I would disable her cell phone and tell her it’s in the shop. PWD throw things away because they think they are putting them away or they are paranoid that someone is stealing them. Paring down her closet won’t stop that. Some have had success temporarily with matching outfits hanging together with one for each day. Things also get lost or misplaced in the laundry. I would also talk to her doctor about her behaviors like anxiety and agitation and see if she needs a medication or dose change. Have you looked at the DBAT questionnaire? It may help. https://static1.squarespace.com/static/6372d16ea4e02c7ce64425b7/t/63f7b80d80d8aa3e3aa4a47d/1677178894184/DBAT.pdf

Shenmama99

I know from my own experience when my mom gets so out of whack she has a UTI. She had 8 in 1 year. Caused paranoia and more than “normal” confusion. See about having her checked. My mom never has normal symptoms of UTI. No pain, etc. just super crazy emotions and confusion

Jacoland

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/268462#Comment_268462

thank you so very much for the DBAT that’s a very useful tool. So so far she’s only calling me in the middle of the night and I blocked her calls when I’m sleeping so that’s working out fine for now. And I’m feeling so much more rested. I’m calling her doctor on Monday. She’s got a Neuro exam coming up in a month. I appreciate you taking the time to write to me!

Jacoland

Hi, yes they did check for UTI and she was negative for that. I read that she’s gonna get more prone to UTIs as this horrible disease progresses so I will definitely keep a close eye out for that. Thank you so much for taking the time to write to me!