My husband passed at home March 18

sherryandwilliam

It was a long journey with my husband. He is finally set free from this horrible disease. My wish came true to keep him home until the end. My whole life was taking care of him and a deep void is something I have to get through. I never posted here much but I needed this outlet to say he is not with me anymore. Such mixed emotions glad it is over for him but still miss him so much

Cardenas1816

I am so sorry for your loss, and can completely understand the mix of emotions. I pray that you’re able to find peace, and that your next chapter is much better.

David1941

”…miss him so much “ is the mark of a very true love 💕. May you evolve well over time into a life made richer by your years with him. What a lucky guy!

Jgirl57

Praying for all of your mixed emotions. Thank you for sharing . Peace to you and your family.((( HUGS)))

ronda b

❤️

Chance Rider

I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope knowing your husband is no longer suffering this wretched disease brings comfort to you. Sending hugs 💜

countrywife

Wishing peace to you both. When you are feeling up to it, would you be willing to share how you were able to manage keeping him at home plz? I know it’s not possible in every situation but what allowed that to happen for you and your DH? Thank you.

White Crane

I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband. He was blessed to have you taking of him.

annie51

I’m so sorry for the loss or your dear husband. The mix of emotions is so very real. I love @David1941’s post - so true that the deeper the love, the deeper the loss. I tell myself to be grateful I had a love that true. Hugs and prayers for you as you move through stage 8. Keep us posted on how you’re doing.

tonyac2

I’m so sorry for your loss. Prayers for peace and comfort.

SDianeL

so sorry for your loss. Praying for your strength and comfort in the coming days. Grief is the price we pay for love. 🙏💜

Goodlife2025

Glad that you thought of this group to share your grief; there is nothing else like it. May His Peace be with you and your family now.

Russinator

((HUGS))

Marla13

I am so sorry for your loss.

jgreen

Dear @sherryandwilliam

Thank you for letting us know. May perpetual light shine upon your DH and may he rest in peace.

God be with you on the next part of your journey.

Hugs and prayers 💝

trottingalong

I am sorry for your loss. I can understand the mixed emotions.

ImMaggieMae

I am so sorry for your loss. He was so blessed to have you to care for him at home. I know it wasn’t easy and I think it makes you miss him even more now.

wilkins57

So sorry your loss. Prayers for peace for you as you grieve. Take care.

howhale

So sorry for your loss and you are in what some of us refer to as Stage 8 of this terrible disease. It is where your recovery begins but the deep pain of your loss never leaves. I too was fortunate enough to keep my DW at home throughout and for that we are lucky and I am so happy you were able to do that for your DH. Regardless of how and where we cared for our loved one, this disease brings on a grief that can be truly overwhelming and this place is one that is saving me .I visit here more often after she left than I did before to help find peace, release feelings, find a path forward and just to be among those who understand and relate to our grief. Having gone seven months now without my DW, I am a firm believer that our loved one is still with us and, if we open ourselves to accepting their signs, we will see and feel their presence. Just as our loved one communicated differently during their illness, it will be different now but it is there. This is the most caring, supportive, loving and helpful group of people who are always here for you.

MaryMN

I think all of us have mixed emotions about our loved ones as they struggle with this awful disease. Your DH is now at rest and you need to rest too. Take some time and surround yourself with memories of the good times you shared. God bless.

sherryandwilliam

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/268802#Comment_268802

sherryandwilliam

I had that mindset from early on. My husband physically lost ability to walk and was bedbound Jan 26 after a bad uti. Not sure why that caused it I think his body was just giving out. He had a hospital stay after a fall (nothing broken)in late Sept and came home with recommendations of hospice but I said I will wait and see how he does they sent a hospital bed and a lift, remarkably a physical therapist came and he got out of bed immediately and regained being able to walk again, But after that hospital stay he was incontinent during the night, but not during the day. That did not last. At first I could get him to use a urinal with my help but he soon lost the mind and body connection to that task, The disease robs them of nearly everything one by one. Accept he never did not know who I was and told me he loved me, It kept us both going. His 73 birthday January 28 was the day hospice was called to our home. He at that point could stand with help and even sit is his recliner for short periods but it did not last long.

I kind of wish I kept a diary on the progression of the 10 plus years. Truth be told I wonder how I did manage so lucky I had my health and was in my early sixties when he first had Alzheimer's and luckily I was able to manage helping him all along. The last few years were the toughest with his loss of abilities seem to progress fast. He never was violent never tried to wander always cooperated with me and when he got frustrated with me I said I am trying to help you he said sorry and settled down. I saw the man deep down was still there. He never lost his true core. I did not imagine that I would bet my life on it. I had two loves in my life. Bill before Alzheimer's and Bill after Alzheimer's, We were together since I was 15 and him 17. I was no saint and would be frustrated and think why me, why him. But I kept going and don't regret one day.

I know everyone's situations are different I was lucky everything did fall in place for me. Yes my life was just him and I just adjusted to it. The only caretakers he had was the hospice aids that came one hour a day in the morning five days a week when he was bedbound. And my children came through big time in his last few months to help me change him and move him in his bed, especially my daughter.

But probably what saved him staying home was the short amount of time he was completely bedbound. Honestly it was the hardest and physically taxing. And weeks befoe his death I was wondering how long I could manage his care. Any certain questions you think you might have I will try to answer. Good luck in this journey with your husband

JeriLynn66

Thank you for sharing. I'm very sorry for your loss and wish you peace in the coming days. 💜

countrywife

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/269003#Comment_269003

Thank you for your heartfelt honesty. I don’t anticipate having to make these kinds of decisions any time soon but they are on my mind. I understand I won’t be able to do it on my own and knowing what helped others will undoubtedly help me as well. I’m thinking of you and wishing you great peace.

CindyBum

I am so sorry for your loss and definitely understand the mixed emotions, nearly two months after my DW passed.

I'm a little lost right now, to be honest, but also totally expected to be.

Best of luck finding your feet and yourself again.

Hugs.