EOAD WHO SMOKES

lazymom05

My LO is 65 who was just diagnosed this past year. He has CAD/PAD/PACEMAKER/DM2. So basically, a mess physically before even being diagnosed with ALZ. He just started smoking a year ago on a daily basis. Before that it was basically just a pack a month. Now his VASC doctor is really pushing for him to stop smoking. I really do not want to manage this. I already do everything. This is his source of relaxation and comfort to him. Most likely he is going to pass from his other medical issues first. Now he smokes maybe 1-2 packs a week. Anyone else go through this?

blacksparky

I’m not exactly in your shoes. I do have a similar problem. My DW is 56 and diagnosed with EOAD in 2023 at the age of 53. All she wants to do is eat nothing but sweets. She has gained over 25 pounds since her diagnoses. She no longer eats any vegetables with the exception of a salad with sweet tasting dressing. She loves fruits that are really sweet. I earlier on tried to get her to be more healthy but that only added to my already high stress levels. Both your DH and my DW have a disease that can’t be cured. At this point of my DW’s progression. I no longer try to stop her eating mostly sweets as this makes her happy. Who am I to take that feeling away from her. Yes she has high blood pressure and bad cholesterol that may eventually take her life but maybe it might be a blessing that she doesn’t have to progress further with this disease. This is just how I feel now. Earlier in the progression, I wanted her to be as healthy as she could be so I could be with her longer but as I see her progressing further I sometimes pray that she passes earlier than later. Does this make me an awful human being for thinking this? I feel like it does sometimes and the guilt is there. Sorry for the long reply. Hang in there and I know you will make the best decisions for your DH. ❤️

BPS

A different situation but my dad drank a lot and the doctor told him he needed to quite or it would kill him. Shortly after that he was told that had cancer that was going to kill him. At first his wife was pushing him to stop drinking but after the cancer diagnoses she decided that trying to get him to give up drinking that he wanted to do was only going to make his last time harder. She didn't want the memory of end of his life to be of conflict.

Goodlife2025

Interesting conversation. I do manage my DWs drinking by watering down her liquor. Two thoughts; I do this partially because I can't imagine managing life with a drunk dementia housemate 😮 but smoking is not quite the same. Except….. I think if she smoked instead I would worry about the safety issues. Especially as she became more forgetful losing, keys, wallet, her sense of awareness. Long term health is one thing but you will face more immediate concerns.

Don't take the safety lightly. My DW set a gas can on fire this past week!!!!

harshedbuzz

@lazymom05

I am sorry you are facing this issue.

Cigarettes and/or alcohol can complicate dementia care. Each, can in their own way, hasten the disease process. Because of the impact of apathy and inertia as dementia symptoms, cigarettes and drinks can become one of the few remaining pleasures accessible to a PWD. At the same time, poor short-term memory and lack of executive function make abuse more likely.

Smoking also carries a risk to you in terms of health and safety. The mother of one of my dad's friends died in a house fire in the early middle stages of dementia. In your shoes, I might try a patch to reduce physical cravings and distract. If agitation would result, psychoactive meds could help with that.

One of my aunts was a life-long smoker. When she went to AL, the protocol was for staff to supervise smoking which became an issue as aunt could not always wait for smoke breaks which led to agitation. She ended up with a fall and placement in a SNF where smoking was not allowed. It was a difficult adjustment.

HB

Leesee

You might try buying him a vape. I have been a lifelong smoker and started using a vape a few years ago. It's not an immediate transition, I smoked cigarettes and vaped for about 3 months. Eventually the cigarettes tasted awful (vapes are available in a variety of flavors) and I only craved the vape.

Even without ALZ I loose my vape 😀so you'll have to keep an eye on it. But it's safter (no fire) and cleaner (no smoke) while giving me the nicotine and activity that smoking provides.

Vapes are available where cigarettes are sold. I was a menthol smoker and found a mint vape that I liked.

lazymom05

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/268857#Comment_268857

I feel the same way you do. I want him to pass sooner rather than later. He has always stated he does not want to be around when he 'loses his mind'. He is still transitioning and is aware of his illness. The smoking relaxes him and he sits on the front porch for hours just staring out the window. During that time, he might smoke 2-3 cigarettes. But he also has gotten back into smoking weed which also relaxes his brain. I do know that the smoking causes vascular issues, but I have no intention of doing any surgery on him. Can be overwhelming thinking which will cause his demise - physical or mental.

lazymom05

I agree. AND why cause stress/chaos on me. I am already doing all the work. Why would I want to manage this and literally every day be saying the same thing over again!

lazymom05

I love the idea of watering down the liquor! Thankfully he only smokes on the front porch and only during the day time . I am a remote worker so I have eyes on him.

lazymom05

I will buy a vape today and see if it has the same affect - thanks for the suggestion!

Maru

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/75649/eoad-who-smokes

My DH is entering into the middle stage of dementia. He likes his evening glass of wine. At first, i tried to talk him out of doing so. Why kill off more brain cells when the ALZ is already doing that? Now, I just try to limit him to 6 oz and if the glass is too full, I will just pour some out while his attention is elsewhere. These days, I try to figure out which battle I want to fight.

JDancer

I tapered my stage 6 spouse off alcohol approx 1 year ago. He was drinking 7-10 beers/day. I started putting 6 beers in the fridge each morning. Then I replaced one of the beers with a NA beer. A week later removed one of the beers. A week later replaced 2 beers with NA, etc. Now that he's fully incontinent, I'm so glad he no longer drinks beer. When he drank, he urinated large amounts hourly. Thank goodness he isn't doing that now