I think I’m losing it

hasbroz

Lately I find myself wondering if it’s my DW that has Alz or is it me. I find myself thinking that it’s me that put the frying pan in the freezer or that I’m the one that can’t remember where anything is. It’s actually kind of disturbing. Is this a thing?

Groovy's Girl

I was looking for the stapler last week…Looked everywhere. DH does tend to move things around….Finally found it in a place where it could've been him, could've been me.

Living with chronic stress will do this to you. Breathe.

Michele P

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/75658/i-think-i-m-losing-it

This is stress. They move everything so nothing is where it is supposed to be. I put TILE gps trackers on anything important. We have all been there and live it!

sfrsythe

I go through this too and have I PTSD to with that too. It’s tough sometimes.

Chris20cm

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/75658/i-think-i-m-losing-it

You aren't alone. I wonder too, I am so distracted by the constant need for vigilance to keep DW safe and healthy, along with the ambiguous grief of watching my soulmate decline mentally after 61 years together, that I forget where I put things, and sometimes buy things I have already purchased. The racing mind has been called Accelerated Thinking Syndrome or ATS. Also called Monkey Mind by Buddhists. I have it. That's my excuse anyway.

trottingalong

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/268953#Comment_268953

I’m going to adopt your excuse. Sounds good to me!

Chammer

I just say my brain took a walk without me!

wilkins57

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/75658/i-think-i-m-losing-it

I have experienced this as well and my DH and I are really just starting this journey. He was diagnosed about 8 months ago but myself and family members were noticing problems for about 2 years prior to his diagnosis. His neurologist says he is still in the mild cognitive impairment stage. I find I spend a great deal of time helping him look for items he’s misplaced, helping him with communication on his phone or iPad, and reminding him of appointments or things he has asked to be reminded of. I find myself being a bit absent-minded but I blame it on the need to remember all of his stuff and all of my own—I find it disturbing too! I would also agree that stress has a lot to do with it. Take care and try to ask for help when you need it!

sandwichone123

I think in the early/middle stages many of us feel that way. They can seem so normal sometimes, and then not, so it almost feels like gaslighting. They have no control over it, of course, but it's as if they're saying, "I'm fine. But one of us is losing it!" Then the next day when they're clearly impaired, we feel like we were crazy the day before thinking they were fine!

Jgirl57

yes, I think it is a thing. You are basically thinking for two and I think our own brains get muddled trying to manage it all. When I do make mistakes it’s usually because I am trying to multi task and think ahead. Now is definitely the time to do the things you can control to manage your health and stress (nutrition, home chair exercise or whatever you are able to do). Glad you posted.

tonyac2

Yeah, it’s a thing, it’s called stress. Hyper vigilance, caregiver burnout. It’s awful to have to do the caregiving and the workload of two to keep things going. I love my DH dearly but it’s hard to keep giving and giving with nothing in return. Being responsible for everything. I lost an insurance check recently and thought I accidentally threw it away. Looked everywhere even called to see how to stop pymt and issue a new one. That was lovely. “Can we please talk to the policy owner to verify the account?” No, he has dementia and barely talks to me. OK, you’ll have to do A, B, C and D and blah, blah, blah. Thankfully I found the check. So yeah, it’s stress.

Biggles

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/268955#Comment_268955

Absolutely me too what a great excuse makes me smile.

Sunfish47

When I finally got the Alzheimer’s diagnosis from the neurologist a few years back , it hit me hard, and for a half day I felt like I had been swept into an alternate reality, and that maybe it was ME that was losing my mind, not him. How could this be happening? To my highly intelligent, quick witted DH, the smartest person I had ever met.
So yeah for a brief period of time, I really did feel like I was losing my mind.
I work hard all the time now to be in “acceptance.”

Chris20cm

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/268986#Comment_268986

Acceptance is critical, it's good you are working hard at it, but it's tough because we keep thinking this shouldn't be happening. When DW got the Alzheimer's diagnosis, it was actually a relief because it answered so many questions about the changes in her, and it meant we could hope to establish a path forward rather than being in limbo. The path hasn't been an easy one, but she has outlived the prognosis by six years.

Maru

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/75658/i-think-i-m-losing-it

Sometimes I wonder if It is me, too. There is just so much that my almost 86 year old brain can juggle. On top of that several of my aunts and greats that lived into their 90's had dementia. Stroke? Alzhiemers? It used to be a joke about my sanity being on the line. It doesn't seem so funny anymore. I know that this is probably stress related and having so much to be responsible for…this is one more stressor on an already big pile.

White Crane

hasbroz, like others have said, stress can cause us to have trouble thinking clearly. Something else to consider…are you taking anything for anxiety or depression? I had been taking Lorazepam, generic Ativan, and started having trouble with my memory. Words escaped me and I would forget things. I read the side effects and one of them was memory problems. When I cut back on the dosage, my memory cleared up.