Will not sit

Bobo59

My DH refuses to sit on command. This has become a major issue as he will not sit on the toilet and BMs are regularly on the floor. I have listened to Teepa Snow's videos about assisting to sit and nothing is working. I am at a loss as to how to get him to understand and follow the direction of "Sit". Of note, he is is very recently in memory care and an aide was terminated after the first week of my DH's admission due to mistreatment of my DH. I know it was because the aide forced him into a chair. This nightmare never seems to end!! Any suggestions to get your LO up or down??

CindyBum

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I watched Teepa's videos and I could never get my DW to sit on the toilet, especially when I tried to help. If I left here sometimes, she'd manage it on her own but she had absolutely no interest in any help.

I know I'm not much help on this one, but want you to know I understand it is one the hardest things I had to deal with. I hope you have better luck than I did.

Quilting brings calm

I have not watched the videos, so maybe you’ve already tried this: don’t use the word sit. Get him to stand facing away from the toilet, but close enough. Then suggest that he lower his bottom to the toilet seat by bending at the knee. Maybe demonstrate how. It’s possible that he’s reacting badly to the word sit if he had a bad experience with the aid.

Bobo59

Thank you for your suggestion.. in time it may work but for now, nothing is working. I have tried kneeling in front of him, bending with him, and various things.

Bobo59

Oh I'm so sorry for your struggles too! How we will get through this is a book to be written for those to come. bless you in your struggles. Sending hugs!

jgreen

Dear @Bobo59

Do you have a raised toilet seat, and maybe one with grab bars? That may relieve some fear of falling when your LO cannot see when they try to sit. It will be an expense if you have to purchase one but it could help. It works for patients who’ve had replacement surgery (hip or knee) when they have pain and are scared when bending at those joints.

Best of luck

Bobo59

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/269479#Comment_269479

Yes, we have all these in place. There was a time when they worked for him but that has passed.