Moving My DW to a Home

jimorrison

I am moving my DW to an assisted living facility this week. It’s been long in the making. I won’t get into how we got here but instead I need to know how to make the transition for her and me as smooth as possible. For starters she does not know it’s happening. We have been to the facility together twice. And she does not question it; she does not even know what it is. The times that we have gone is to attend a musical event; she loves to sing and dance!!

If you have any suggestions please share. Thank you in advance for your comments.

Jgirl57

Don’t overwhelm her living space with “stuff”. A few things to make her comfortable. No prized possessions as there are many individuals that go in/out of rooms and no longer have concept of “mine” “ yours”. Best wishes for a successful placement.

annie51

Is it a memory care facility? When I moved my DH in, the staff worked with me to come up with a plan. I went the day before and brought clothes and some familiar items to put in his room. As @Jgirl57 said, nothing of value. I just had some pictures and picture books that he always liked. The day of the move, I simply said that some friends invited us to lunch at a new place. When I brought him in, they were prepared to greet him and whisk him into the facility and eat with him in the dining room. They told me to quietly leave and not visit for a few days to let him get acclimated. If you could bring her there when they’re having a musical activity, that distraction would be great. It is very very hard, especially at first, but once you make the decision and get it done, you’ll realize you made the best decision for you both. Your caregiving now changes to being her advocate, making sure they’re caring for her properly. And you can become her husband again, visiting her, loving her, and doing things with her there, without the stress of day-to-day caregiving. Keep us posted on how it goes. Wishing you the best!

jimorrison

I really appreciate girl and Annie’s comments. I will be better prepared tomorrow. She will be placed in AL and see how she does there. It’s tough. This whole thing, very tough. I am sad.