How common is elopement?

Merla

my parent escaped from her new memory care on the third day. She doesn't look like a memory care resident (too young) so she snuck out the door with a visitor who didn't realize she is a new resident.

She also escaped from her old memory care but this was more aggressive exit seeking and going out the emergency exits.

I'm just surprised bc I thought memory cares were very secure. Im not really upset about it because in all cases she stayed in the parking lot though there is a busy road outside of both of these memory cares.

pamu

My mom has tried to elope from her MC several times (she's been there 6 months). Within a couple days of her arrival to MC she went to the nurses station and put on one of the nurses sweaters and went to wait by the elevator. Last week she made it onto the elevator and upstairs before she was stopped by the nursing staff. She was extremely agitated and ended up having to go to the hospital because she started to get violent and pushed one of the doctors. She is now known throughout the facility as a flight risk and now everyone is on high alert. Like your mom, mine doesn't look like a resident and could be mistaken for a visitor. The elevator has a little spot where you insert a key of some sort but everyone just uses the corner of a credit card or bobby pin to access it. The emergency exits are located in the dining room and near the nurses station so I don't think she could sneak out undetected due to alarms. She is also supposed to wear an ankle monitor but manages to somehow remove it (It resembles a plastic hospital bracelet). I'm sure your mom isn't the first to try to elope from there- what does the staff say? If you haven't already, request a care meeting with the MC to find a solution.

Edit…. I meant to add, my mom also eloped from her AL prior to living at this MC. She was living in a group home style AL (really nice). She managed to elope several times in the same weekend until finally she was picked up by police at a home down the street. She said she heard me calling her down the road so she said she was looking for me. Since it wasn't a lock down facility/home she couldn't go back until she was more stabilized. She didn't go back and was admitted to MC. So, in my opinion I think eloping is somewhat common…but some are more successful at it than others!

SoCo Kirsten

Does she always go the same place when she gets out? Will she wear one of the GPS devices that look like a pendant or watch, or will she know? For 10K+ a month I'd want a more specific plan from the MC director. Good luck.

harshedbuzz

@Merla

I imagine it's fairly common. I asked about this as I expected it of my father and this was where their dementia-informed design helped minimize the drive to leave as well as the opportunity.

The building has a main vestibuled entrance with a lobby, there's a sign-in desk that is occupied from 8am-8pm. On the far side of the lobby is a door with a combination key pad. The combination is included in a farmhouse painting (it's the number of the mailbox) near the door to enter. On the other side of the door, which is a flat panel painted to match the wall and then included in a themed painted mural. There is a painting of an old truck on the farm (the combination is the license plate number) and keypad on a wall across from the main exit.

There are emergency exits, which are alarmed and all lead into the garden space which has a 6-foot fence. There are gates but they blend in and are alarmed as well.

When dad was in a SNF/rehab that wasn't secure, he wore an wrist band that triggered a door alarm if he went near it.

AmandaF

I think it’s not uncommon. My mom did it too, and actually convinced another resident to come with her. Channeling her inner rebel teen I guess, sheesh. They were wearing wristbands and didn’t make it past the courtyard area, fortunately. The desire to escape passed with time as she got used to the place. Anxiety meds helped too. Now the man she tried to leave with is her “special guy.” :)

sandwichone123

My dh eloped once, and they found him in a nearby empty lot. A week or so later I noticed they had camouflaged all the exit gates from the courtyard with plastic vines.

For as long as he lived by that courtyard he would look longingly in that direction, as if he could remember but not communicate that moment of freedom.

Merla

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/269815#Comment_269815

your mom must have been quite with it to develop such an elaborate escape plan. This is surprising. Mine just tailed a visitor walking our the door.

Merla

she isn't at the most secure memory care. I really like the community but they give as much freedom to residents as they can but then it seems like they can't deal with very very high flight risk residents. I actually really liked their building design as it feels like a small apartment building but it doesn't offer the same security as other memory cares I've seen where the door to the elevator area is hidden and requiring key access and the elevator requires key access so the person is going absolutely nowhere unless they break through several levels of security which is highly unlikely. Maybe I will get her an air tag just in case.

pamu

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/269865#Comment_269865

Yes, her cognitive abilities fluctuate from hour to hour. She has also been diagnosed with Paranoid Personality Disorder (along with Alzheimers) which we think drives her desire to leave. She was hospitalized for it back in the 1980's and even eloped from the hospital at that time. She thinks the nurses are poisoning among other paranoid delusions.

kblau

air tag 💯