Leaving Mother with Sitters

bbbww

I would welcome advise on the best way to leave my mother with her sitters. We built her a small apartment onto our home and when my husband and I try to leave for a few days my mom gets super upset and says she wants to go back home and stay with my brothers who all live 10 hours away and they along with their wives would not be able to take care of my mom (I moved my mom in with us 16 mos ago.). She does not need continuance sitters but when I leave town I do have someone with her at all times. We are leaving for 5 days and I’m so worried she’s going to be so upset when I tell her and when I’m gone. Any advice would be so appreciated. Mom is probably in stage 5

SDianeL

If her short term memory is gone, I wouldn't tell her in advance. She probably has no concept of time so I wouldn't tell her how long I would be gone. Just say 'a couple of days' She will probably be upset. Make sure the sitters can reach you at any time and plan on cutting the trip short if necessary. Are the sitters familiar with dementia and know how to distract or redirect her? Is she on medication to calm her anxiety? She may need to be if you take future trips.

harshedbuzz

@bbbww

My friend simply didn't travel much when her mom lived with her. Prior to that, friends (including me and sometimes my son) checked on her mom. Mom knew me as I was in and out a lot. My excuse for dropping by was to drive her to her garden. Once mom moved in and needed 24/7 care, my friend hired another friend (an RN) for the weekend with an excuse that friend needed to stay while work was being done at her house. Once mom had progressed further, friend was able to hire her regular day aides to come.

HB

harshedbuzz

Another thought is a respite stay at a AL/MC. Some places offer 2-week stays.

HB