Loss of driving privileges

Answers needed

My DH was advised by his PCP not to drive. When he objected, he was referred to a rehab clinic for a driving evaluation by an occupational therapist who subsequently agreed with his doctor's assessment. Since he has anosognosia he does not remember any of this, and is convinced that I won't let him drive the car. Whenever I leave the house without him, he becomes angry and accuses me of controlling EVERYTHING, etc, etc, etc. Of course he is not wrong, but as we all know it is not because I want to. I am aware that his narrative is based upon his fear regarding his loss of control. I try to be sympathetic with his feelings and attempt to redirect the conversation; but that doesn't always work. Does anyone have other suggestions? I find that I am seeing friends only every 6 weeks or so, just so I won't have to add fuel to the fire. On the other hand maybe it wouldn't make any difference since he can't keep track of time and will come back to that complaint regardless of how often I am gone.

SDianeL

yes he will continue to ask. Does your leaving trigger him asking and cause his agitation? Is he being left alone? Maybe a caregiver when you’re gone to distract him? A family member or friend? No amount of reasoning or explaining will help. Make sure you are hiding the keys.

Michele P

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/75842/loss-of-driving-privileges

I have a couple of thoughts after reading your post. First, if you cannot stop him from driving, have his doctor report his condition to motor vehicle. You can do the same. Where we live, if you fail the driving test by the facility that determines if you are capable of driving, they take your license on the spot. With that failure and your pcp recommendation, that should be enough to revoke his driving privileges.
You need time away if possible to keep your sanity. Maybe a friend or an adult day care facility would be an option for when you leave without him. He will never accept this diagnosis. Do what you have to do to keep both of you safe.

H1235

I think you are on the right track with distractions and changing the subject, but I agree that doesn’t always work. Loosing so much independence is difficult and the fact that they don’t recognize that anything is wrong with them makes things worse. This can cause anger, resentment, anxiety and depression. It makes sense. If someone tried to take my independence from me as a capable, adult of sound mind (that’s probably the way he looks at himself) I would be mad and feel betrayed. You might want to talk with his doctor about a mild anxiety medication. I would also be very cautious about leaving him home alone. If he believes there is nothing wrong and he decides to do something dangerous that he’s no longer capable of it could get ugly. What if he decides to get out the chainsaw?