Isolation

Biggles

My sweet DH with VD Aphasia and stage 7 has been more agitated than usual. Because of his Aphasia I have taken to using my phone more and more for keeping in touch with family and friends, doing the accounts, ordering meals and other essentials online (it’s so hard to get to the shops), checking the news (the radio is confusing for him) I can’t use wifi unless he’s asleep and then I don’t need to, when he’s awake he wants my company ALL the time and I understand this but lately if a friend phones or I’m talking to say my brother for more than a few minutes he will perform, want my attention, walk around the garden and he knows I get anxious about him falling or he will indicate with action and noises that he’s hungry. It’s so frustrating and so isolating. I have to constantly say “sorry I’ve got to go” or “can’t talk right now”. It’s hard enough not to be able to mix socially but now in his own way he’s isolating me from my only means of communicating. Sorry this is just a frustrated rant.

Jeff H

It's a tough task for all of us for sure. I have a similar problem with my DW. I simply point my finger in the air while talking on the phone. 👆️ (meaning I'm busy at the moment or I point to my phone). That has worked for me. I hope this helps.

Russinator

((HUGS))

Biggles

Thankyou another use for finger pointing 🥴 I’ll try that.

trottingalong

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/75854/isolation

I completely understand. I actually get stressed when someone calls because my husband immediately wants my attention or rants afterwards that I’m always so busy.

Russinator

((HUGS))

Timmyd

I have been at the point for over a year where I cannot speak on the phone in the presence of DW. Add the constant shadowing and you understand what that is like. However the shadowing has recently eased a bit and I can sometimes sneak out in the yard for a quick phone call. I have gotten used to scheduling phone calls by text. I have companion care 20 hours a week so that does give me some time to work with. The random incoming call I need to take is hard, like if her doctor's office, insurance company, or pharmacy calls.

The thing about this disease for us is that the problems are always changing. The problems that were bothering me last year are different from the problems that are bothering me this year. I have no idea what next year's problems will be.

Artlady

I too am dealing with a DH with Alzheimers. He was bi-polar 1 for the entire time we are married and now he has Aphasia as well. He is very hard to understand and , yes, it drives me crazy. This is year 5 in the journey and he is now in stage 6. He goes to daycare 3 times a week and that is a godsend!

We are using Parentgiving briefs for his incontinence. That was a nightmare before I found them. Depends just leaked and I was cleaning up all of the time!

He wants me to be with him all of the time and I have trouble talking on the phone. I try to go into a different room but he follows and makes a cutting motion across his neck to tell me to stop talking. I mostly can't understand what he wants but he is able to tell me he wants help. Usually when I am working on something he just wants me to be with him. All he wants to do is watch tv and I am getting really tired of it. I have a pair of headphones I use so I can listen to music or a podcast when he is waching but he really doesn't like it.

I only hope that this does not last 5 more years because it would be too much!

White Crane

I remember those days. I have no answers for you but am sending you a big hug.