Cross country move advice

RetiredTeacher

We are moving to NC to be closer to family. DH has a cognitive disorder, likely VD from 3 previous strokes. His memory is surprisingly good but executive function skills are compromised by vascular disease. I've decided to move us from CA to NC, a very daunting task given 40 yrs of accumulated possessions. I've been going through drawers, cabinets, closets, going room by room. At this point in life, I'm 70 and DH is 77, I think the least stressful way is to hire a professional moving company. I will drive with DH and 2 dogs. My son said he would fly out and drive our pickup, that we want to keep, back to NC. If any of you have done this, I'd appreciate advice pertaining to: suggestions on long distance moving companies, did you have movers pack everything or did you pack the easy stuff, how do you decide what is worth the cost of moving vs buying new, what did it cost for the moving company. I definitely want replacement cost insurance for fire, theft and damage. Has anyone had a car shipped via auto transport? If so, how did it go? Since we will be staying with my son until we find a house our belongings need to be stored. If you had a similar storage situation did you pay the moving company to store it or find a temp and humidity controlled storage unit? We have big furniture and DH is not able to help lift so I'm trying to find the easiest way to get things done. Any suggestions greatly appreciated. I Just feel it's time to make this move before he gets worse and I won't be able to do it.

Any suggestions greatly appreciated. Ty

WIGO23

We were 73 when we last moved. We moved from Florida to South Carolina. We used PODS and it was great! You have a month to pack your rented POD(s) and complete the move without additional costs. We were able to pack much ourselves in a-slow, deliberate manner cleaning out and donating or selling over time. We hired help to pack what we couldn’t. We used local, hired help to unpack and bring everything into our new home. You could easily have everything unloaded to a storage unit instead.
Everything went smoothly including the actual transport timing with no delays. Not one thing was broken or damaged. It was the easiest move we ever have completed out of the five times we have moved during our life together. I hope this helps.

LearningCurve

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/75866/cross-country-move-advice

Hi there. We moved from the Oregon coast to NC, which is my home-sweet-home state. We sold our home and the furniture so we did not have to transport all of that. This was about 8 years ago. My DH was not diagnosed at the time but looking back, I do think I perhaps see the early signs of it. Driving across country was a hellish nightmare. My DH chose to purchase a huge trailer filled to the brim which now sits in our driveway. We have been married for 12 years and I learned that he was a serious "collector" and just really couldn't let go of many things. I do have a friend who has owned the PODS in the central part of our state. That would have been my pick! Our move was a nail-biter. I wish you safe travels and warm welcome to NC. :)

Michele P

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/75866/cross-country-move-advice

We moved across country. We hired a moving company and took out insurance. Most of our furniture was damaged in the move due to incorrect packaging of the furniture by the movers for a long distance move. We packed the rest of the house in totes and marked the contents of each. We took dated videos and pictures of the furniture and totes the day the movers came. This saved us when they tried to tell the insurance company that all of the furniture was already damaged even through we signed nothing that stated anything was damaged! If we were doing it again, we would bring no furniture and buy it in the new location. It costs a lot of money to move the furniture. You could probably buy new for the cost if you downsize. We rented a storage unit until our home was built. Cube Storage was excellent. Get rid of as much as you can. We paid to move so much that later got donated.

terei

Honestly, I would keep only the things that are truly valuable like jewelry or artwork. This is kind of dependent on your financial situation. It is very expensive to move. Get an estimate. I’m going to guess + say it’s going to cost at least $8k to move furniture etc. I can furnish a whole house easily for that with preowned furniture. It is much less stressful to get rid of everything + get exactly what you need at the new place. JMO

I moved my folks from AZ to MN + sold most everything in AZ but wish I had gotten rid of more.

Quilting brings calm

We hired a company that used PODS to move my parents from Alabama to Illinois and to store the PODS for a month. Local movers then finished the job and assembled all the furniture etc. The Alabama company packed it all - we just went through and threw out or donated whatever we weren’t moving plus we packed what my parents would need for that month in our cars.
We needed two PODS for basically a one bedroom apartment of stuff.

Please do not drive across country with your spouse without a third person. My spouse and I brought my mom (PWD) while my step-dad was an $&@) and refused to come until two days later. That resulted in only one vehicle rather than the two that we had packed. It was a two day trip and she was confused, delusional, talked the entire time. She swore we were lost and going in circles. I had to take her to the restroom every time, bring her out to my spouse and then go myself. We put a chair in front of the door in the hotel room because we were afraid she’d wander. She tried to open the truck door at highway speed because she wanted to take the dog for a walk.

blacksparky

We moved from California to northern Minnesota the spring of 2022 to get out of California. My daughter and her family lives there. I retired while my DW still worked in her medical billing business which she was able to do anywhere. I was 66 and she was 52. I took my time and packed everything in clearly labeled totes that I bought from Costco. The totes stack nicely and and helped with space utilization on the moving truck. The movers loaded everything. We drove cross country and took our time staying in hotels. No more than 500 miles a day. I sold most all of our furniture and appliances except for some antiques. It went well as she wasn’t showing any signs of dementia. After we settled in, later that year she was diagnosed with EOAD at 53. Within a year we ended up returning to California because all of her family lives there to help me with her. Same process as before with the same movers went flawlessly. The only difference was by this time DW was progressing to about stage 4. We had to hire a transporter for our car and we flew back. The airport was a challenge for her but I figured only one day of confusion instead of 3 or 4 days.

Quilting brings calm

@blacksparky

Who did you use for transport and what would suggestions do you have for hiring a transport company? We have a vehicle we need transported.

blacksparky

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/270829#Comment_270829

I found a local mover from my city that had great reviews and offered out of state services. Since I sold most of the big items, we were able to get everything into a 28 foot truck rather than a big semi and trailer. As far as an auto transporter, I was limited due to the small area in Minnesota that we lived in. Luckily I found a great local guy that was willing to do it. There are lots of brokers that offer transport service but I’ve heard no good things so I would try to find a local company or depending on your cars, maybe rent a auto trailer and haul it with your other car.

CindyBum

I moved within California when my DW was probably in late Stage 4. I was clueless still on how to manage all of it with her decline and wildly underestimated her ability to be helpful in it. That's kind of putting it mildly. I was also in some pretty heavy denial myself about how far along she already was.

If I had to do that move over again, I would have bit the bullet and spent the money on hiring professional movers to pack everything and bring it all in one truck. Instead, I watched my poor DW unable to finish packing even one box and her confusion at the drive and what was really going on. I nearly killed myself making the move and having to do it all myself.

The fewer moving parts you have to take on yourself is the best option, I think.

Good luck!

harshedbuzz

I handled all the logistics for my parents from their house in MD to an apartment in PA and then a house in PA. I also managed the sale and clearing out of personal items and exclusions from their home in FL which we sold turnkey.

Some suggestions.
Make sure you obtain important medical records from doctors if you aren't already using an electronic chart. Make sure you have refills for important meds. It would be useful to schedule intro appointments with PCP, at a minimum, for you both soon after you arrive in NC. When you get to NC, link the charts. We had a terrible time after. This was important for things like mom's mammograms and DEXAs.

If you can swing it financially, I would move out and stage/sell once you're out. If you can't, perhaps staying in a hotel for the actual packing day makes sense.

Since you're driving, I would have DS drive the truck at the same time. This would give you an extra set of hands and eyes with DH and dogs in an unfamiliar place. Otherwise, I would ship it. I shipped mom's Miata from FL and it was fine. She elected not to pay extra from an enclosed trailer but it was fine. The car beat me home as I had to stay an additional day to sign the papers as DPOA for the sale of the house. My niece and I packed what we moved into a PODS which was great; that showed up at the new house within a week.

Dad was in rehab when we moved them into the apartment. He was discharged into the new place which we explained as temporary. I used the local movers the real estate agent recommended. They were ghastly. Make sure you have the best and most professional real estate team available working for you. The bozos in OCMD were highly recommended but nowhere near as helpful and competent as the team in FL. FL was a much less stressful experience in terms of renting and then selling.

When we moved the staging furniture from MD to the apartment, we used a neighborhood guy my niece knew who was terrific. We used him again when we moved them into the house 5 months later. That time, my parents stayed in a hotel while niece, DS and I set up the house so that dad could come home to a fully set up situation. I feel this helped with preventing agitation.

Since they were downsizing from 2 homes into an apartment, we did a short-term stint at a storage facility. We did insure it. When we set up the house, we had too much furniture, so we arranged for Habitat's ReStore to collect it. LOL, the day mom and I went to arrange this, she found and bought a bed she'd always liked; this made no sense downsizing from 5 bedrooms to 2 but whatever. I took pictures of all the furniture and boxes in storage and would show dad when he accused me of stealing his things.

Good luck.

HB