Help me please

lavenderbluebee

I am so burned out and feeling alone. My husband is 86 yrs old and I am 73. Been married for 43 years. The regular doctor says he has dementia or Alzheimer’s . He now refuses to go to any doctor or to receive any help from hospice or anyone. He has mood swings very often which plays on me and my wellbeing. Not to get in depth too far , but I can’t even eat in peace. My stomach is in constant turmoil from the way he is acting . My nerves are getting a beating also. I have clinical depression and have had to have my prescriptions upped twice. Sorry for the boo hoo, but I would really really like to have some suggestions

LBC83

Sorry to hear about your situation. I was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in April 2024, specifically Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI), and my Mom had dementia. So I understand completely your situation.

It seems that unfortunately, your husband is beyond the MCI stage and has moderate dementia.

I'd suggest that you consider starting by calling the Alzheimer's Association 24/7 helpline at 800.272.3900. This is a free call, you will be speaking with a live person who can provide you with information, local resources and emotional support. If you desire, you can request a more in-depth conversation with a Care Consultant (which is also free), who can provide you with individualized, solution-focused support. The Care Consultant would be a master's-level expert in dementia.

The Alzheimer's Association website also lists FDA-approved drugs that can help with your husband's symptoms, although to be clear, these will not cure your husband's dementia.

https://www.alz.org/help-support/resources/helpline

Victoriaredux

Hello lavenderbluebee-

yes please consider calling the helpline & asking for a social worker to call you back to give you support and ideas to manage the situation.

You are wise to raise your hand and say you need help. Living in a home with a PWD can negatively impact the care giving partner. A way too high number don't outlive the patient with dementia. .

Did you draw up legal papers in the past - DPOA, healthcare directives etc as part of your estate plan- now would be a good time to review them to see what powers were granted to you to manage his healthcare and placement if it goes there. And you'll need to have yours redone to name someone other than him .

Some people get their LO to see a doctor by saying it is needed to maintain medical insurance. No meds cure dementia but they could help with his moods.

If you feel you are in any danger call 911 and have him taken to a hospital for a geri psych evaluation & say you aren't safe with him at home. Don't take him back until his moods are managed or you need to look for a home for him.

The hospital will have a social worker who can assist you finding a place. An elder care attorney can advise on how medicaid for institutions work in your state so that you can see how the finances work .

There are resources out there. I'm so glad you asked for them .

Michele P

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/75891/help-me-please

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/75891/help-me-please

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/75891/help-me-please

Welcome. I would repost this message on the other discussion link for caregivers of spouses or others and general topics. You will get more responses on those pages. I would consult a neurologist or geriatric psychiatrist for medication to help with the symptoms you described. They are common with Alzheimer’s. If possible, look into adult day care with your local Council for the Aging and/or in home care for a few hours a day to give you a break. If he is homebound, he might qualify for Medicare in home care services.

lavenderbluebee

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/271135#Comment_271135

thank you so much. I will call them.

lavenderbluebee

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/271143#Comment_271143

thank you

lavenderbluebee

Thank you

rmisheloff

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/75891/help-me-please

Under AlzConnected there an opportunity to connect with care partners who may have good advice to offer. I hope so, and wish you the best!