Giving up on skills

Timmyd

DW was diagnosed with EO in late 2021. She was probably late stage 4 at the time. We are now early stage 6. In the early stages, seeing DW lose skills was hard. I found myself pushing on her, trying to coach her in remembering how to use the washing machine, dishwasher, or where the clean clothes get put away. Later it became easier to notice when a skill is being lost and just accept it without struggle. However, on rare occasion, I see her attempting a skill that was long since lost. It is startling to see her try to do something she has not even attempted in over a year or more; trying something that needs to be done and is part of normal living. Sometimes she will say something to me, or laugh at a joke on TV that makes it seem for a moment that she has an awareness that is well beyond what anyone would expect given her late stage condition.

The way the disease progresses is so odd.

The hard part is seeing the evidence that she is still in there, and trying to fight back. The disease is winning. Its victory is inevitable, yet she fights back nonetheless.

trottingalong

My husband has Alz/vascular dementia. His mom also had dementia as well as multiple family members. She’s long since passed, but I remember this. She was an expert on irises and had an amazing iris garden of all varieties. When she was non verbal, in a wheel chair and outside, her irises were in full bloom. She pointed to them making a loud guttural sound. I immediately wheeled her to her beloved irises. And then she disappeared, no recognition, nothing. Just that blank stare. I always wondered if something was in there hidden because she did recognize them. She was still there, somewhere. Or so I thought. Seeing my husband with so many similarities I have concluded the brain is mysterious. Damage is done. So I treasure the moments and leave it at that.

blacksparky

My wife was also diagnosed in 2023 with EO at age 53. She is definitely in early to mid stage 6. She can still tie her shoes but can’t figure out how to do other things like brushing her teeth, putting fishes in sink, throwing away trash in the trash can and I can list a lot more. We are definitely on the roller coaster of Alzheimer’s going through the ups and downs and sharp curves.

Scooterr

I to see those brief moments in my wife. In the early stages I thought to myself "oh maybe she will get better" Now I have long learned those brief moments of clarity are fleeting, but I do appreciate it when it happens. I just see them as good days and soak them up.