Having to move mom out of home

Jpowers32

Hello. This is my first discussion as things are changing with my LO. My mom has Alzheimer's and was diagnosed about 5 years ago. After a year in, my daughter moved in with her to help care for her and was there 2 years, then my niece moved in for another 2 years. She has repeatedly vocalized wanting to stay in her home, which we have tried to honor, but now they are leaving, and we just don't have the funds for full-time, in-home care, so we are moving her into my home. My husband and I will become her caregivers with some paid help a couple day's a week when I work. I am fortunate to live near 2 of my siblings, so I am not alone in this, but I am very worried about her transition. She doesn't want to move, forgets, then gets upset all over again. The official sleeping in my home is in two days, and I'm trying to decorate our loft like her living room, her bedroom like her room, and the bathroom like her bathroom now. If anyone has some advice or suggestions, I am very open to them. I appreciate you. She still remembers her children but is starting to forget other people in her life. She has always struggled with her memory loss and gave up driving with her diagnosis, as she was forgetting her normal routes. My brother handles her finances, and I handle all medical issues. I am a little worried as we enter this next chapter. Thanks for listening.

JulietteBee

Welcome to the group no one has ever wanted to be a part of, adult children caring for parent/s with Dementia.

I had my mom move out of her marital home in 2024 when it was evident she could no longer live alone, after 3 kitchen fires, and a diagnosis of MCI/Mild Dementia

I moved her into an ILF due to her often verbalized, life or death, NEED for independence. I thought she would age in place, there. I planned to get her in-home care when the time came.

Unfortunately, after pressing for further testing, mom was diagnosed with Alzheimers and Vascular Dementia.

Once I saw the big "A," my mind went into overdrive and plans had to be changed. We bought a bigger house that could accomodate 4 adults, spanning 3 generations.

Mom officially moved in last week Wednesday. We moved her in with as much of her furniture & art pieces as space allowed so that she will see familiar items throughout the new environment.

My mom has ALWAYS felt that "Parents should never live with their married adult children." She is of the notion it will ruin the marriage. With that in mind, she had to be coaxed by my husband. She needed assurances that HE was fine with it as she did not want to "Intrude."

Hubby did a great job of convincing her that this was the best way for her to age in place. Rather than paying $4000/month for an apartment, I can now use that money towards paying for in-home care a few days per week and 2 weeks of respite, twice per year, for annual vacations.

I had massive headaches daily, leading up to her move. Since she actually moved in, the headaches are gone. My pre-existing has spiraled, but that was the tradeoff I made. I prioritized her needs over my own.

Your mom will get over being upse with the move. The nature of the disease pretty much guarantees that she will. Hugs!🫂