DW Doesn't Understand Questions

BikingOldMan

I'm really fighting hard to help DW to understand the questions shes required to answer prior to her annual physical exam. I.e. The form asks "Over the last two weeks, how often have you been bothered by any of the following problems?", and then comes a list of potential problems like "Feeling down, depressed, or hopeless" and many others. For each of these conditions the patient must check a box for a single response. i.e. Not at All, Several Days, More then half the days, or Nearly Every Day". DW is an English major, minute detail oriented. She cannot link the question to individual conditions. Her frustration becomes unberable. ""Those are not complete sentences - how can I possibly answer? I don't know what the're asking for so don't know how to answer. Fortunately we are working together on-line with the appointment pre-registration form. Otherwise we'd have to go through this using their ipad in the office. It's an annual nightmare for us. Has anyone else had to deal with this? I really think this shouldn't apply to dementia patients.

Bailey's Mom

My HWD is unable to complete any of his paperwork for physician's appts anymore. I have informed all of his doctors and they understand that I will be completing the forms for him. It sounds like it is very frustrating and upsetting for your DW, so it may be time to not ask her to do it, even with your help.

harshedbuzz

TBH, I never bothered to consult dad about such things once he was diagnosed in the middle stages. The discussion, in the context of his anosognosia was just upsetting even if not dementia-specific questions. IME, behavior is communication; we generally had an idea if there were pain or mood issues based on that.

Even with mom, who doesn't have dementia but is tech adverse and has vision issues, I do the paperwork for every appointment apart from her psychiatrist because she tends to sugar-coat her symptoms out of some misguided notion that reporting continued symptoms after treatment would be insulting.

HB

blacksparky

I agree with all above. Just fill in forms yourself and don’t even include your DW in the questioner. I got the DPOA to be able to handle her medical decisions for her so I can get all her HIPPA information. As she progresses there will be less DR appointments that really need to done. My DW is in stage 6 and we no longer do any preventative tests like mammograms or colonoscopies.

H1235

I usually just fill out as much of that kind of stuff as I possibly can without consulting mom. If possible I do this alone at my house. She gets angry and frustrated that she isn’t able to do it or sometimes angry because she believes she is perfectly capable and I won’t let her do anything herself. If I feel like I really don’t know an answer, I might rephrase the question in a very simple way and ask her. If she seems confused or frustrated, I just skip the question or do my best answering it myself. You could always just write in the note section that you had to fill out the form because she was not capable. Maybe followed by “she has dementia “(just in case the doctor wasn’t aware). I took mom to the sleep specialist and the doctor spent 10 minutes explaining how to use the advanced setting on her sleep apnea machine 🙄(I felt luck she still knew how to turn the darn thing on). Since then I make sure it’s very clear she has dementia when filling out the paperwork, because of course telling the doctor this in front of her is just asking for trouble.

Sunfish47

I fill out all forms for my DH (for the past three years) as I am well aware of how he’s feeling and what his health issues are. Stage 5. He could never get thru the questions on his own. Our drs are aware he has Alzheimer’s, so I fill out forms and also speak for him when we’re in the exam room.
This morning I was helping him write an entry in his journal (that his brother gave him and encourages him to write in).
DH couldn’t think of anything to write and when I told him, word by word, what to write, he couldn’t draw the letters or spell the words. Such a mind robbing disease.
(The purpose of the journal is so he would write something in his own handwriting that he could then read again later and maybe remember what he did that day. His brothers idea. )

ronda b

Just fill the form out and refuse the Medicare mini test if it gets her upset. That's what I did with Dh. Your most likely her MPOA. So it shouldn't be a big deal.

Snipe

I’ve filled out my wife’s forms for the past few years as well. When I send something to her any of her doctors through her mycharts or whatever, I always say I am asking, sending, answering, etc for my wife and include my name. I also go into her exams as well. I generally let them ask her questions and let her try to respond. I only add to, or answer, when directly asked. At this point they all understand. I also changed her appointment notifications to my cell number after she canceled one rather than acknowledge it. I Good luck.

Quilting brings calm

Fill out the medical history forms for her with your best guesses. Skip the ‘depression’ etc forms or just answer No to all. Thats a Medicare suggestion form and the doctors don’t care if it’s filled out. If there’s something you want to discuss, send the doctor a note using the portal or bring it up what the appointment. You are accompanying her into the exam room, right?

Jeff H

As blacksparky stated get a DPOA to fill out the forms for your DW. I message the doctors via their portal before any appointments to keep them abreast. For the annual Medicare wellness check I have them omit the memory test to place hands on a clock and name these animals, etc. It's just too stressful on my DW.

howhale

Fill out the forms for DW. Make sure th doctor knows her condition and then stop all the other foolishness forms. Once our doctor knew the situation, the visits changed and were much easier. In time she was unable to even go to any doctor appointment because of the anxiety, confusion and stress it caused. It was then the doctors advised hospice and they were so helpful through the end. You will have to run the show for your LO, manage the visits, run interference on the visits and make sure the doctor understands and has the front desk and others aware to not ask for things of no value any longer.