Update on my “plan B”

Lethe

In my last post I stated I broke my ankle and had NO plan B. Turns out I broke my tibia, fibula and 5th metatarsal and now have a cast to my knee. Absolutely NO weight bearing and No driving. So it’s been a fast course in asking for and receiving help. I looked into home health but no return phone calls but seems I may have found someone through Care.com for 4 hours a day. Fingers crossed. Let me just say I NEVER imagined this and how hard it’s been but like every day so far it’s one foot (sort of) in front of the other. DH can’t really follow most directions so that has been difficult. He still has most ADL’s with reminders but doesn’t cook and sleeps a lot when not engaged and doesn’t eat unless it is provided. My daughter has thankfully come by every day to help me get what I need, throw in laundry etc But she works… Our home is on three floors ( our bedroom on the third). I moved to second floor guest room but nothing is where I need it and DH can’t really help. Anyway once I’m downstairs there is NO going back up. So hopefully the care.com person works out. We will meet her tomorrow.

Jgirl57

You definitely need help. Hugs for a speedy recovery and your new hired help. I tried to stand on a chair to get something from the top shelf and felt my balance go wonky . I won’t try that again.

annie51

Tough road ahead but with help you’ll get through it! Good luck with the care.com person. Wishing you a speedy recovery.

Lethe

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/274826#Comment_274826

thank you!

Russinator

((HUGS))

BPS

So many thing happen that we don't see coming. I hope you get the help you need and that the rest of us can learn from your hard experience.

Goodlife2025

May you get more and better help than you expect. Speedy recovery.

jgreen

best wishes for speedy recovery, @Lethe

Biggles

That’s a challenge on top of a challenge. It’s worry that plages my mind, what to do if something goes wrong with me. I wish you a speedy recovery and success with your organisational skills.

mommafour

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/76274/update-on-my-plan-b

Oh wow, I sympathize with you and hope your recovery is going well. Same thing happened to me 8 months ago (trimalleolar fracture of the ankle) and I’m still dealing with that. I also had no Plan B. Due to my lack of advance planning for such emergencies, several of our kids and a grandkid had to scramble to rearrange their lives to take turns staying at home with DH while I was in the hospital. I’ve now made a “Plan B” for him in case of future emergencies on my end.

Biggles

Could I ask mommafour what your Plan B is, only if you want to reveal it of course. I don’t have a plan at all if something happens to me, my friend broke her hip slipping on the bird seed and spent 2 weeks in hospital which set met thinking - what to do?

mommafour

Hi Biggles - My Plan B is a benefit provided by the VA (DH is a veteran) that I wasn’t aware existed, so I know it wouldn’t apply to all situations. DH has a VA home-based healthcare team. His RN made her monthly visit a couple of days after I returned from the hospital and saw that I was struggling to take care of DH from my wheelchair while barely able to take care of myself. He requires help with all ADLs. None of our kids live nearby and had already helped all that they could. The RN informed me that DH has 30 days/yr of respite care in a Memory Care facility available to him, paid by the VA. She contacted his VA social worker, who found an available space for him in a facility that I already knew of and approved. He was picked up and transported there by the next day. It was such a huge blessing. I was unable to visit (not cleared to drive during that time) but called a couple times per week to talk with a nurse for updates. I was very shocked to hear he was very content, socializing, and seemed happy. When he got home, he told me he enjoyed his stay. Huge shock!!!!! If this happened a year earlier he would have been very angry. I call it his “vacation resort”. I have a reservation for him to stay there at end of next month for 10 days while I travel to Utah to visit my son and family. I’m saving the remainder of this year’s available days in the event of another emergency.

Victoriaredux

@Lethe

What would you do if you heard the door bell ring, or he walks outside? A fire starts? Going downstairs is totally weight bearing - can you move completely to the first floor and stay until healed? So what if the living room looks like a dorm room.

You may also want to look at an agency that staffs not just refers , that way if the helper has car trouble etc they will supply a substitute.

Karen711

This sort of thing happened to me 1 1/2 years ago with a vertigo attack that turned out to be chronic. My DW would never agree to my previous attempts to get a caregiver in. But this time she could see we really needed help by just looking at me. Back then she was still capable of some empathy. Luckily I had interviewed a caregiver wrangler the year before as part of my “part B”, so I was lucky and had a number I could call right away to get some help. Since then I’ve gotten referrals from neighbors who either were using caregivers at the time or knew someone that was.
Or, any chance your DH can go to respite care and you go stay with your daughter?

Biggles

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/275835#Comment_275835

Hi Mommofour what a wonderful outcome to difficult happening especially the bit about your DH enjoying his holiday. I love that. I am sure at this stage my DH would be protesting all the way, but hopefully that will change too. I hope you are now on the road to recovery too. Thank you for the details and the food for thought. I think forewarned is forearmed. My DH (in Australia) has now qualified for a Government package and I think he may also qualify for a 30 day stay away. I will check on these details on my next call to the provider, although I am not familiar with any of the respite care facilities nearby so some diligent researching. He is going to our daughters tonight for a few hours I am quite excited as I have a social evening on my own for the first time in years. She has three teenage grandsons and husband all busy working, studying, cars and girlfriends plus two dogs. It’s chaotic when we are visiting. Pizza tonight for my DH and just an hour or so. Thank you again, good luck on your journey.

Goodlife2025

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/275835#Comment_275835

Thank you for the update and good news mommafour. I have been thinking about you quite a bit and am so glad to hear you were blessed with the emergent relief you needed and there are more days when needed!

Biggles, good for you!!! I hope you let yourself enjoy every minute of your evening alone. I receive unexpected relief with a friend or family member taking my DW for an hour or two about once a month - I cherish every time it happens. I don't let any guilt in. Some times I just take a nap without that underlying worry, once I ate 3 ice cream bars, often I get rid of that "thing" DW is driving me crazy over. DO what will make you feel good. ….