Making the move from AL to MC

clarkjuliea64

My mom is currently in AL but we have found that she has been wandering outside on her own, so we need to increase her supervision, therefore putting her in MC is the only option. Just wondering from others experience, how long should the transition take? She is in amazing physical health but currently has mid-stage dementia.

Also, how much time should we spend with her each day? I've read that we need to limit our time to only maybe 30 minutes a day. Currently my brother and I take 2, 2 hour shifts a day. Will she know that we're not there as much once she moves to MC, or does a dementia patient not really have a sense of time?

Thank you for your time

sandwichone123

When my spouse went to memory care at Stage 5, I waited a couple of weeks to let him get settled and build relationships with staff and other residents, and then I visited twice a week. When he started complaining I left, so visits were 1/2 to 1 hour. As he progressed to Stage 6 I started visiting once a week, as he seemed to get less out of it.

For the first couple of years, I would take him out for lunch and an outing once a week, but as he lost an understanding of social customs around urination, I stopped taking him out about mid-stage 6.

H1235

I had to go back and reread that to make sure I read it right. Two p, two hour shifts every day is a lot! I visit once a week for about an hour. My brother visits once every two weeks. My mil had 5 kids 3 visited once a week, 1 once every 2 weeks and 1 almost never. In my opinion she needs time without family around to meet people and participate in activities especially just after the move. This transition time is also a good time to decrease visits overall. But I guess every family is different and you should do what is most comfortable.

Michele P

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/76357/making-the-move-from-al-to-mc

I agree with others that 2 shifts for two hours a day is too much. You are going to burn yourself and your brother out. Your lo needs time to make connections with staff and residents. If there isn’t an issue with your mother’s care, cut the visits down to what you are both comfortable with. Cut it down to every other day for both of you and go from there.

Bowerbird

I was regularly visiting every other day for about two hours per day. Then my DH got a UTI and could not walk, so was confined to a wheelchair. He disliked being stuck in one spot, reliant on staff to move him, so I started visiting every day for two hours, twice a day, so I could move him from place to place. When he was better and could once again walk with his walker, I cut back to once a day, every day. That became too much, so I am back to every other day. My DH is an introvert and does not care to mingle with either staff or other residents, so I feel like his ALZ is progressing faster. I'm feeling the need to go more frequently.

I guess this is all just to say that sometimes your LO's particular circumstances can affect your need to go more or less frequently. I would agree that visiting every day could become too much for you pretty quickly.

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Damiross

Except for the first two days she was in, I've been spending the afternoons (about 4 hours) with my wife. 6 weeks now. The son of my wife's roommate visits every other day. Another person visits his father almost daily.

I talked to my wife's social worker. I should slowly reduce the amount of time that I spend with her. But, however, I shouldn't entirely eliminate visiting her (and I would not no matter what).

bayshireyorbalinda

From what I've seen, the transition to memory care can take anywhere from a few days to several weeks. Since your mom is physically healthy and active, it may take a little longer for her to adjust, but the added supervision sounds like the right move given the wandering.

As for visits, there isn't a universal rule. Some families shorten visits initially to help residents settle into their new routine, but it's best to follow the guidance of the memory care staff and see how your mom responds.

Many people with mid-stage dementia have a limited sense of time, so she may not notice the exact amount of time you're away, but she'll likely still appreciate seeing familiar faces and feeling supported.

Wishing your family a smooth transition.