Memory

GloriaV

My DH has had major short term memory loss. I have realized that it has been about 20 years he has lost. Recently he asked how my Mom was doing. She has passed 25 years ago in a car crash. He then asked if I talked to my sister “Teri”. My sister is Carol. Teri is his ex- wife’s sister. He hasn’t talked to her in maybe 40 years. We have been together for at least 37+ years. These things has known. He is in 4-5 stages.

I guess what I am asking is this normal? The disease is progressing.

Emily 123

Yes, to be expected. The person will lose their memories on a 'last in, first out' basis. They become untethered to time.

If you think this is something very sudden or he's made a big leap, you could take him in for a urinalysis so they can rule out a UTI or other cause.

GloriaV

I know to watch for that also. Just seems like things are progressing. It’s to the point if I get upset or don’t agree then he gets angry. Not physical but upset

Chance Rider

@GloriaV

It sounds like your husband is progressing on a similar timeline as my husband. He is also late 4 early 5 and just a couple of months ago forgot how many children he has, and how many sisters he has, as well as what their names are.

Until the doctor prescribed Sertraline he would get very agitated and angry, though never (so far) physical. The Sertraline has made a big difference.

I’m sorry you’re on this journey but glad you found this community. The people posting here help me prepare for what might come next and validate my feelings.

GloriaV

Thank you for responding. It’s just sad. I know it’s the disease and not his fault. It’s just really hard.

JulietteBee

@GloriaV, we feel your pain. It is indeed hard watching a loved one be diminished by this awful disease.

harshedbuzz

@GloriaV

A lot of people travel back in time in the middle and later stages of dementia. It can be hard on both caregiver and the PWD when it is triggering.

HB

JPJardinel

This must be such a strange kind of heartache, watching him reach for the people who matter but pull the wrong ones out of time. Twenty years gone is a lot, but what really gets me is how specific the confusion is, asking about your mom like she's still here, mixing up your sister with someone from decades before you two were even together. There's something almost tender in that even though it's so hard, like his mind is still trying to connect with the people who mattered, just grabbing from the wrong years to do it. I think what makes this so lonely is that you're the one holding the real timeline while he's living in pieces of one that doesn't quite include you the same way anymore. From what I understand, this kind of jumping between decades and people is a normal part of how the disease moves through these stages, so please don't feel like something unusual or alarming is happening, you're just watching the disease do what it does.

I got my references here:
https://hopebridge.care/alzheimers-memory-loss-confusion-faces-and-time-blur/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alzheimer's_disease
https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/home-care/spousal-caregiver-relationship-advice/

macteachr

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/275522#Comment_275522

@GloriaV My husband became very agitated after having a pacemaker implanted. Thank goodness for his primary care doc who prescribed Sertraline! I highly recommend considering this or something similar.