How to Find In-Home Support

brupt30

I'm at the point where I need to hire some in-home help for my DH, probably 1 or 2 days per week. I found several possible candidates through care.com and some other sites, but wondered how others went down this path. How did you conduct interviews and get started? I'm sure that DH will be resistant at first and I have no privacy at home to speak directly to the possible candidates.

blacksparky

I’m not sure where your LO is at with this disease. In my case all I needed was someone to sit with my DW and just make sure she was safe. I had two ladies from our HOA 55+ neighborhood. Each lady came one day a week for two hours giving me time to run errands and generally just get some peace. I paid them $20 Ann hour. The first two times I stayed with them and told my DW that we had a visit from some friends.

Timmyd

My DW loves ice cream. I set up interviews at our favorite ice cream place. It was as if we were getting an ice cream and then discovered a new friend. I did the interview in the presence of DW. Prior to the meeting, I emailed the candidate a list of questions and tried to handle much of the mundane questions through text/email. The interview went well so a couple days later the companion came to our house for her first shift. I stayed with them for the entire first shift and then left for small periods of time for the next shift. I got more comfortable and left for longer periods of time. It has worked out well. Private communication is still a challenge at times. We do a lot of email and have learned some tricks to get away from DW for a few minutes to speak outside her presence.

howhale

Used Care.com to get our first person and she was terrific. Needed a second over time and found no one from care.com and dropped them. Started looking locally online and through referrals. Hired the rest myself and they were all very good. Became like family to my DW. I found the questions you ask are critical well beyond the security questions. many say they are qualified to support those with AD but when you probe they really have no practical experience. I used one of the care givers I trusted and knew to be very competent to interview them and then spend their first day shadowing my primary care giver and the next visit my primary shadowed the new one. Ended up not hiring a number but the ones who "passed" were outstanding.

Barbie300

I noticed these responses are mostly men. I will be needing a caregiver for my DH soon and there are very few men caregivers. I’m not sure my DH is going to like having a woman as a companion and certainly not giving him a bath etc. Has anyone had this experience?

brupt30

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/275734#Comment_275734

Thanks - what were the most revealing/helpful questions that you asked?

Timmyd

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/275750#Comment_275750

We live in a large metropolitan area. For the email portion of the interview, I asked about what their commute would be like, and how they planned to commute. I wanted some evidence of a valid driver's license. I asked if they had other jobs and what schedule constraints they would have. Of course I asked for a summary of experience. For the in person portion of the interview (with DW), I mainly focused on how the person interacted with DW and trying to get a gut feel. My thought is that it is not that difficult to let go of someone who is not working out, so as long as there are no obvious red flags, I gave them a chance.

There is a lot to think about with regard to background checks. Some websites like care.com do a basic background check. How much and what type of background check is a personal decision.

The person who we have that is working very well had no experience with dementia patients. However she had a great disposition and was eager to learn. I had read somewhere to focus on disposition, personality, and how well they interact with DW. Dementia skills can be learned (as we all have had to learn them), but personality is a more permanent condition.

Finally you will have to consider if you want to use cameras and if you are using cameras, will you inform the care giver about the cameras.

brupt30

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/275756#Comment_275756

Thanks - this is extremely helpful

howhale

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/275750#Comment_275750

I liked the questions that required them to talk about actual experiences with someone with AD. What were some of their worst challenges and how did they handle it. Did the person ever misbehave and how did you deal with it? Offer examples of the behaviors of your loved one and ask how they would handle it. I tried to make sure they had practical experience with things that they would actually deal with with my LO. If I got the standard "canned" book ways to deal with behaviors, that was a flag. Too many claimed experience but could only recite the published tips. All the other suggestions from others here also but I wanted to test them about actual experiences.

howhale

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/275747#Comment_275747

Finding a male care giver might very well be challenging anywhere. You might think about having one male participant for those showers, etc. Maybe coming just weekly or every two weeks. Otherwise having a female care giver may not be difficult. You might have better luck searching for a male nurse or CNA for specific tasks on a schedule. The nurse or CNA will be more costly per hour likely but may provide the services needed.

jgreen

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/275809#Comment_275809

I like this idea, @howhale I am hoping to hear back from someone with our regional GUIDE program and may be looking into some in-home support in the near future.

It’s been MANY years, but I still remember interview questions that might help tease out some experiences. The questions started with the phrase “Tell me about a time when you…..”. I’ve read several posts where many of us have difficulties getting our LOs to eat something. So phrase the question to see if the interviewee had a client who wouldn’t eat the lunch the wife prepared and how they handled it.

Think about all the behaviors we, ourselves are having to adjust to: Incontinence, delusions/hallucinations, trouble with technology (phone, tv remote, tablet), shadowing, repeat questions, determined to do something we know is not safe, etc.

One last thought - ask if they have an employer who has done things that help them do their caregiving and see what those ‘tips’ are.