How to control non stop repetitive questions?

sshoja

There is a non stop question about where to sleep by my mother who has Vascular Dementia and Alzheimer. She navigate all night without problem going in and out of her bedroom but during day, keep asking on and on, where to sleep. This can go hours and hours non stop. Any possible solution highly appreciated. Tried redirecting her attention but is not helping. Only when I take her out it stops. Any help highly appreciated.

ARIL

So sorry about your mom’s illness. Repetitive questions are a very common symptom in dementia, and we know exactly what you mean! I once had to drive my PWD on a ten-hour car trip, and I swear I heard “Where are we going?” “When will we get there?” and “How far is it?”nearly every minute for the entire time. I understood the high anxiety of that situation, but there are constant questions in much calmer settings as well. (Less so now than formerly, but it is still an issue for my PWD in stage 6.)

Nobody has a magic answer, but there are strategies. You will want to search this site for “repetitive questions.” I have found this Natali Edmonds video useful:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=785z4HlyqkM&ra=m

sshoja

Dear Aril, thank you so much for your kind note and very eye opening clip, it helped me to watch my own frustration and body language which might impact her feeling of being lost and seeking safety through where to sleep. Thank you for sharing your sample which seem so similar to mine in a different way and made me feel not alone.

harshedbuzz

@sshoja

Hi and welcome. I am sorry for your reason to be here but pleased you found this place.

I found this free download helpful in seeing dementia from the PWD's side; it helped me be more patient and compassionate.

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580?im_ref=1--T9JyX6xyZTj3xvZ3joQA0UkuQuxRp1Svv3E0&sharedid=EdgeBingFlow&irpid=2003851&irgwc=1&afsrc=1

Two tricks that seem to help many caregivers stuck in the Groundhog Day of repetitive questions are:

Some folks find taking the emotion out of it. PWD retain their emotional intelligence (reading your emotions), so responding with the use of a simple scripted answer without irritation can help reduce their anxiety. The word-for-word script reduces the emotional effort you put into the interaction which should help with the irritation and frustration this behavior can cause.

Another approach is to make each question an improv opportunity by playfully challenging yourself to come up with a different way to respond.

HB

H1235

My mil would have about three different stories or topics that would be on repeat during a visit or car trip. I found it helpful to lead the conversation. If there wasn’t a lull in conversation she wouldn’t bring up the same topic again. But always being there with a fresh new topic was difficult and even then she would still sometimes find a way to circle around to one of the repeat topics. Short visits weren’t too bad, but on a long car trip I was ready to pull my hair out. 🤪

sshoja

Dear Harshebuzz and H1235 appreciate your valuable feedbacks as well, this site is like meditation for me now