Game playing

Barbie300

My DH, who is in stage 4-5 likes to play Rummicube and we play weekly with some others. He is surprisingly quite good and wins about 50% of the time. Lately he can’t remember the rules of the game and it is giving my an anxiety attack, trying to convince him to follow the rules. Our fellow players are very patient and don’t seem to get upset about it. I’m the one that just gets so frustrated explaining the same thing over and over. He always asks every hand how many cubes he should have and how many points needed to put down. I don’t mind that but now him questioning the other rules is driving me nuts. Sometimes he says “That doesn’t make any sense “. I just start getting the shakes and feeling dizzy. I want to keep playing though bc everyone seems to enjoy it and I’m sure it helps his brain.

JoseyWales

We used to play cards a lot with my parents and others. When DH started to decline and not remember rules, I started by writing it out for him with a quick reference card. Then I actually started to help him play his cards, by looking over and suggesting what to lay down. He didn't mind that help.
Toward the end of our card playing career, I actually played his hand. As in, he held the cards in his hand, but that was completely all he did. He still enjoyed "playing" cards.

Timmyd

Our family has always enjoyed various table games. As DW progressed, I became her partner and we played as a team. Fortunately, she was agreeable with that approach as she seemed aware that should could not keep up and appreciated the help.

H1235

I wonder if you are having a panic attack. If it seems to upset you more than anyone else (no judgement, when we are already on edge, sometimes small things tip us over the edge) maybe you should talk with your doctor about medication or a counselor. I like the above idea of planning a single hand together.

jgreen

Hi, @Barbie300 I think you hit the nail on the head when you wrote “I want to keep playing though bc everyone seems to enjoy it and I’m sure it helps his brain.” My son used to play 21 with his dad and used M&Ms to bet. When DH won, he would eat his winnings! If he lost, he would ‘forget’ to place his next bet! 🤣. I so enjoyed watching the two of them as they shared those special moments together. DH is no longer interested in the card game.

I love the idea of you working as a team (as @Timmyd wrote) and helping him with his cubes. If your friends are okay playing and engaging your DH then what’s the harm?

Do take @H1235 ’s advice and speak with your doctor about low dose anti-anxiety meds. They could help you and at the same time help your DH who is now responding more to your emotions than the rules you are trying to explain.

Be kind with yourself. This is a long and tough job!

Grandot

You described my husband exactly. He can play the game and win but can never remember how many tiles to pick up or how many points to go down. If I write it down he forgets to look at it and gets frustrated with me for reminding him. It’s all I can do not to get upset with him. I just keep repeating that Bible verse “let your gentleness be evident to all” which includes my husband!!

Barbie300

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/276606#Comment_276606

I like Luke 12:48 and used to think of it when taking care of my mother as well. I know it is referring to riches, but I think it has a deeper meaning for me. It is basically “ to them that much is given, much shall be required” I try to think of all the good I have been given in life and know that there are also sacrifices that may be required.

Barbie300

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/276470#Comment_276470

Good idea!