Paranoia

jvinarcik

My father is remembering that we used to have a kerosene heater in the home…like in the 1980’s. He keeps yelling at my sister because he feels she removed it from the home…now. She tries to reassure him that we had to get rid of it years and years ago due to my mom’s copd. Nevertheless, He keeps yelling at her because he feels she just got rid of it and gave it to a coworker. What can she do in this situation…distraction does not work and neither does reiterating that it’s been gone..

SusanB-dil

Hi jvinarcik - Could you try telling him it is out being repaired? Another thing that sometimes works is to tell him 'yes, you admit it, that it was given away to someone who really, really needed it or they would be in the cold.'

It sounds like dad is simply agitated, and the heater is at the heart. this time. Is he agitated about other things? Do tell his doc, as he may need a medication adjustment.

caregiving daughter

Is there an isolated place where it was previously kept? Can you make it super obvious that nothing is there, e.g. totally empty the corner and not put anything within 10 feet? My other thought is find something else he is passionate about—old tools, baseball cards, books, etc. and provide him a work area to fiddle with the items. They won't replace the heater obtrusive thought but may speed up the focus on something else.