New to this group

Sak 88

My mom diagnosed with Alzheimer's or psychosis with dementia. And Its getting worse.

H1235

Welcome. I’m glad you found our group. This is a great place to ask questions, vent or just read what others are going through. I will attach a few resources just in case you haven’t seen them yet. Do you have he legal matters addressed? That is so important. Someone needs to be appointed DPOA. sorry you need to b here.

understanding-the-dementia-experience.pdf

Anosognosia and Dementia - AgingCare.com.pdf

SusanB-dil

Hi Sak 88 - welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason

I'm sorry you are having to deal with 'this'.

Sak 88

I really need an insight about how to deal with my mom alone.

SandiWagner

I'm new also….and caring for my mom by myself as well. I do not live with her. She is 3 miles away. I don't know how to determine if she can live alone and if not, what are the alternatives? It's not possible for her to live in my home. I'll be checking here to see what responses you receive. Unfortunately, I'm of no help to you. I am working on getting an appointment with the Neurologist….but everything takes time. Ugh.

towhee

Welcome.

The two most general rules in dealing with dementia are 1- you cannot reason with someone who has a broken brain. 2- Do not get into arguments.

If you search YouTube for " dementia careblazers delusions" you will find several excellent videos that should be helpful. You can also call the Alzheimer's helpline, 1800 272 3900, the number is at the bottom of this page.

For more specific advice from members give a little more info about your situation.

Sandi, if this is my any chance your real name please change it. Anyone at all may read this board. For more responses post again as a new topic.

H1235

Can you give us a little more information about your situation? Is she living with you, living home alone or in a facility? There are medications that may help with the symptoms without turning her into a zombie. You might want to talk with her doctor. If she is already taking something, maybe it’s time to increase the dosage. Your approach with her might make a difference. It’s important to never try to reason with a person with dementia. It’s incredibly hard to remember not to do do this. If she has some ideas that don’t make any sense, just go along with her. She is just always right. There is no need to correct her unless safety is an issue. Do what needs to be done without consulting her or even telling her, especially if it will cause her stress. If she will not agree to going to a facility or in home help, dont ask, just make it happen. We want our loved ones to be happy, but with dementia, that is not always possible. Since many have anosognosia (see the link above) they don’t understand the need for additional care or safety measures. There is usually nothing that will convince them. It’s ok to fib if it some how gives her some comfort or peace. I avoid any topic that might be a point of stress for mom. I have gone to extreme lengths to avoid these hot topics. I absolutely never mention her house (she lives in a nursing home). I don’t even talk about how I spent the day working in my garden, because she would just be angry she can’t work in her garden. The caregiver often takes the blame for everything. It’s very hard. I hope something here helps.

https://iona.org/therapeutic-fibs-ok/

SusanB-dil

@Sak 88

As H1235 mentioned, first thing to do is paperwork in order. DPOA and HIPAA accesses very important.

Also - if mom is agitated in 'getting worse', get her PCP (primary care physician) to get a referral to a neurologist. This is very helpful on our team. Especially to find one who is familiar with the dementia experience. They can prescribe and adjust meds that can help, without being zombied.

The book 'The 36-Hour Day' is very helpful as well, as are Teepa Snow and Tam Cummings videos.

Depending on mom's stage, maybe look into adult daycare for a day or more a week. We called it the community center. They can help look after her for the day, and you would be able to get some respite.

Hope this helps as a start. Also check out the links H1235 mentioned.