Mom - Brain in Circles

cpolif

My Mom is having difficulties with reality and understanding. As this possible a part of dementia it has become hard to have her diagnosed by her primary care. As she refuses, she will not go. When I finally did get her to go, she went to the wrong doctor. She thought she Awas seeing her back doctor.

According to her, the doctor she saw asked her if she had any dementia in the family, did some questions with her and asked her again later. The questions were very easy for my Mom as she does have good recalling what is said.

So not sure if it is all made up as her behaviors been this way even growing up. Her sisters did everything for her. My mom yells, screams and degrades you to a point that your whole-body shakes after speaking.

As her adult daughter I experienced this in my life. I got counseling and tools. Just do not know when the next spring into action comes. I have become total numb!!

It helps to write them out and seek someone that experienced this.

Anyone that can provide some insight or resources is appreciated.

H1235

This board is not as active as some of the others. If you don’t get many responses, you might want to post on the Caring for a Parent board. Many with dementia have anosognosia. This is an inability to recognize their symptoms or limitations. It’s rough. When I took mom to her primary care doctor they did the basic 5 minute test. She did just fine. I insisted on a referral to a neurologist. After a 2 hour evaluation they not only said she had dementia, but said she was no longer safe to drive or live alone. I pointed out the symptoms I was seeing to the doctor (mom was very angry). I later found it was best to communicate with the doctor using a patient portal. I have also handed the receptionist a list of my observations and concerns to give to the doctor. Trying to get a person with dementia to cooperate is very difficult (anosognosia). If tends to be easier if you work around your loved one. Tell her a fib to get her into the office, no need to explain your concerns to her or why she needs to be seen, (she probably will not believe you, anosognosia). Dementia is about so much more than memory loss. In fact my mom has vascular dementia and memory loss is the least of her problems. I will attach a staging tool that may help identify symptoms you didn’t realize were symptoms. Some of the things I noticed in the beginning were, problems with finances, unsteady on her feet, extremely poor judgment!, problems with logic and reasoning, depression, anger, short attention span, lack of any concern about being on time, personality changes, became a very picky eater, lack of empathy and confusion with tasks she had done many times. Because of the anosognosia she wanted to reupholster her couch, power wash the backyard swing and buy a large toaster oven of assisted living so she could make her own meals… One of the most important things to do in the beginning is to get legal matters in order. Again, I would not tell her it’s because you have noticed problems, tell her it’s because she is getting older and you want to make sure everything is in order for down the road. A DPOA is critical! I hope this is helpful.

DBAT.pdf

Anosognosia and Dementia - AgingCare.com.pdf

https://iona.org/therapeutic-fibs-ok/

https://www.helpinghandshomecare.co.uk/care-advice/what-is-show-timing-in-dementia-patients/

caregiving daughter

I would recommend you understand the next time your mom is with your internist, or… make an appointment yourself. Send a letter to the physician in advance with your concerns. Ask that the doctor not disclose that you did this as you'll explain that your mom may get angry. Take your mom to the doctor that day and literally slip into the appointment. Listen to everything that is asked and everything about how your mom responds. My guess is that the doctor will get into much more detail to do a primary-type exam. When you are in the room, you will turn away from the doctor and your mom so that the physician speaks directly to your mom. You can explain to her that you made the appointment for her back. Depending on how she responds, the doctor may be able to prescribe some medication relating to dementia. In all likelihood, the doctor will also refer your mom to a neuro-psych for a full diagnosis. This is not the first time these doctors will have seen this situation so they should be able to comfort your mom. I will be honest though that it could be tough to get your mom to the neuro-psych. It will be a different building though so fingers crossed that she will cooperate. At this point, it will need to be you bringing your mom to these appointments. I am sorry to say that supporting your loved one is going to be difficult and time-consuming. They do though very much deserve our support.