Parents and husband

Jenifer-

My mother lives with me and has early stage Alzheimer's. My dad lives close by on his own and is getting testing for dementia. My mom has been really depressed for the last few months. It's hard on everyone but my husband does not understand how to talk with and have patience for my mom. I am not sure what to do. Does anyone have suggestions. Does anyone know of either virtual or in person support groups.

April23

Hello and welcome. I found both a local in-person as well as virtual support group on this site. I’m in a FB group also for the specific dementia my dad has. I have found them all very helpful, along with this forum.

https://www.alz.org/help-support/community/support-groups

Dealing with a PWD can be very frustrating but there are learned techniques that can make things easier. The #1 rule is to never argue with the PWD. Also reasoning and explanations stop being effective as the PWD loses the ability to understand logic and reasoning. Mom is not trying to be difficult, she is being robbed of the ability to understand reasoning by the disease. She most likely doesn’t think anything is wrong with her nor does she understand her limitations and how difficult caring for her is. It’s important everyone understands this for your own mental health and well being, which is also very important and should not be neglected.

The book The 36 Hour Day can be helpful for caregivers. Depression and apathy is common and can be addressed with medication by her doctor.

H1235

I don’t have info on support groups, but I will add some resources that may help if he is willing to read through them. Maybe an explanation for why she is saying odd thing, refusing help, telling untrue stories and being demanding might him interact with her in a more appropriate way.

understanding-the-dementia-experience.pdf

DBAT.pdf

Anosognosia and Dementia - AgingCare.com.pdf

https://www.helpinghandshomecare.co.uk/care-advice/what-is-show-timing-in-dementia-patients/