New to this Journey & Overwhelmed

mspnd

I am very new to this journey. In the past month, my DH has become so hateful, angry and strikes out at me saying the most hateful and hurtful things. We are going to see a neurologist this upcoming Friday. DH has been forgetful for a while but the latest behavior came on very quickly.

DH has two children who could give a damn about their father. DH has four grandchildren, two of which he never gets to see, the other two he might see a couple times a year. DH has been estranged from his children for nearly 23 years. He has no siblings or cousins. DH will be 77 in less than a month.

We are a blended family. I have one child and a granddaughter. My son literally hates both of us because DH is manically depressed and he cannot understand why I stay with him. The depression plus the possible diagnosis of dementia is a really tough process and my son wants nothing to do with it. The good news is my (our) granddaughter is a Godsend. She truly loves her step grandpa and wants to help anyway she can. She’s going to be 18 In a couple months and feels sad that her grandpa’s remaining life will be nothing like the person she remembers.

DH says things to me like if I’m involved in his care, he’s totally “f@cked.” That couldn’t be further from the truth and I realize it’s the possible diagnosis of dementia that’s causing this.

I think about the long term outcome. What stage of this disease is he in. How to get through this with him literally having no family. I think about protecting us from his children who will no doubt surface with their hands out when they realize something is wrong.

I’m dealing with DH fighting me to go for the medical evaluation. I’m dealing with DH cancelling all planned outings, vacations, etc., things that he used to enjoy. It’s so overwhelming. I have been in touch with the Alzheimer 24 hour support line which has been extremely helpful.

I’m sorry for being all over the place. I’m just so overwhelmed by what’s yet to come. Thanks for listening.

Russinator

((HUGS))

Embee45

Hugs…and good wishes…There are ups and downs…you just have to go with the flow. I've been dealing for a couple years and this past week was just too much for a couple reasons and I've had a couple meltdowns. I'm sorry to say it doesn't get easier. Keep adding friends who will listen and not try to help…just listen to you rant. Keep adding activities…try everything that comes along even if you think it won't help. Sometimes the things I think will be useless help a lot. I'm sorry you don't have a lot of support from family. It's also hard to ignore the hurtful words that are said…you have to keep telling yourself this is not the real person anymore. It's also hard to give up some of your activities to care for your person…I feel very resentful of that…I'm trying to keep and do as much activity for myself as I can so as to have a break.

Dio

Get your legal stuff in order…first and foremost, if you don't already have DPOA for your husband, you should get that done right away.

Sunny D

This is such a horrible disease and not knowing what each day brings is tough. Lots of good thoughts in the earlier comments and just try to find small moments of peace. I, too, have to remind myself that this is not the caring person that I know and he is doing the best he can. Good luck!