Would love to hear tips/tricks from people caring for parent with Mild Alzheimers that also drinks

cgaeta43

Dad was recently diagnosed with Alzheimers, its in the beginning stages. He's recently had his driving privileges revoked based on diagnosis by his doctor reporting. He is also an almost daily drinker, Id say 4x per week. His drinking, even when he only has one or two cocktails makes his symptoms so much worse eg: unsteady on feet, confusion, not being able to find words, forgetting what he wants to communicate mid-sentence, asking the same questions every two minutes, etc. He also likes to sit at the bar and tell his buddies he doesn't have Alzheimers. I could really use some supportive ideas from anyone who might be dealing with the same. Thank you!

SusanB-dil

Hi cgaeta - welcome to 'here' but sorry for the reason.

I'm sorry I don't have any practical advice, but it does sound like dad has anosognosia. This is not denial, but rather, the total inability to see that there is anything wrong. How they see things is their reality and everybody else is just out to aggravate him.

Short of stopping him from going out to the bar, or going with him to cut off the alcohol, I really don't know how you would do that. How is he getting to the bar? Is he within walking distance, or is someone bringing him? If someone is bringing him, that needs to stop.

But do tell his doc.

H1235

Welcome. My experience is a bit different, but maybe helpful. When mom was first diagnosed I had to make so many changes to get her life back under control. She is diabetic with edema and hadn’t been eating properly or wearing her compression socks. I figured now I could finally get her on a proper diet and wearing the socks. It took me a while to accept that forcing her was just not worth it. She couldn’t understand the importance and was very angry. On the other hand there were some issues I did force. I did not let her drive, live alone in her house or manage her own money. Speaking of money, I would be very careful if he still has access to finances. There have been situations were a person with dementia that can’t drive, buys a brand new car. Im not sure where alcohol fall in this. I think it depends how much he is drinking. Is he having a couple beers each day or is he over indulging on hard liquor and getting drunk? Taking away a couple of beers seems like taking away a treat he enjoys (maybe a bit like my mom and her sweets). Stopping him from getting drunk seems more like helping someone with a drinking problem. I think it really boils down to safety. Do you or another family member have a DPOA. This is very important. Because of the anosognosia you can not trust his judgment on when he is not safe to live alone. Someone will need to make that decision for him and he will probably be very angry. I will attach a few resources that might be helpful.

Anosognosia and Dementia - AgingCare.com.pdf

DBAT.pdf

https://iona.org/therapeutic-fibs-ok/

https://www.helpinghandshomecare.co.uk/care-advice/what-is-show-timing-in-dementia-patients/

harshedbuzz

@cgaeta43

Hi and welcome. I am sorry for your reason to be here but pleased you found this place.

My dad had mixed dementia— both Alzheimer's and Wernicke-Korsakoff's which is an alcohol-related dementia. My take might be a little different than other folk's as a result.

Some questions:

Are you absolutely certain of the level of dad's drinking? Is this a self-reported frequency (meaning not necessarily accurate) or coming from someone observing him? Could he be "pre-gaming" at home before going out? Is he one of those alcohol users who considers hard liquor drinking but not beer or wine. Dad would say he "wasn't drinking" but was getting an equivalent ABV with wine and beer.

Did he ever drink more heavily than now for a sustained period? Alcohol is a neurotoxin, but 1-2 drinks most nights is unlikely to cause dementia. My top concerns about his current drinking would be falls, elder abuse and poor decision making around safety and finances.

Does he live alone?

That said, Alzheimer's is a terminal diagnosis, and, in that context, we opted not to take the drastic steps it would have taken to keep dad away from alcohol. It would have required placing him earlier in the disease progression which would have impoverished my mom and limited her options for care in the future.

Watering drinks down, replacing with N/A versions or just not having it in the house triggered aggression and there was no way I wanted mom to die in her role as alcohol police. We did what we could to mitigate risks in that mom did all the driving and dad mostly drank in his own home with supervision. YMMV.

HB