I’ve had it with lost laundry!

H1235

It is absolutely ridiculous how many clothing items have been lost. I just brought mom 8 pairs of socks. She only got 5 back after they took them to mark. They have lost bras, pants and blouses. Mom is so frustrated with it she is actually try’s recording all the clothes they take in a notebook to try and keep track of what goes missing. She doesn’t really have the ability to keep good track, but she knows when something is missing. It’s causing her so much stress. I am only able to visit once a week (I live an hour drive away, we are rural). I will need to buy her a few more clothes to make this work, but I think it will be worth it. If she had everything that’s been lost, she would be all set. I’m thinking I will put a note on her hamper saying, do not take, family does laundry. Has anyone else gone this route?

ARIL

A friend of mine tried laundering her mom’s things from a nursing home; it helped a little but did not resolve the problem of missing items.

My dad has been in three facilities total, in two states. Lost laundry has been a problem everywhere. He has been in his current MC for two years, and the losses have varied. I think I am up to four sets of sheets lost, as well as a quilt, shirts, pants, t-shirts, and socks. There are also occasionally items in his drawers and closet that are not his (which I take to staff).

I understand your frustration. I have tried talking to management; they have never successfully found anything, but I did make some observations about the laundry process that may have helped slow down the losses. No shirts or pants have gone missing in months.

The mgmt question to me: “Have you put his name on his clothes?” Really? You think I don’t know that? The director said, “Well, you know how things are in memory care.” Sorry, but it’s not residents who are stripping his bed linens and taking them off to wash, never to be seen again! The main problem is that staff on one shift put things in the washer, and somebody on a different shift takes them out… And nobody is taking the time to read the name labels. To be fair, the aides on the floor have far too much to do to also be handling all the laundry. The director also said, “We aren’t experts in laundry. We are experts in care.” What I heard: this is not important. I was unimpressed, but I did see the lay of the land.

I have reduced variety in his clothing types and colors, so he basically has a “uniform,” which most staff can recognize. I have just planned on buying new t-shirts and socks every few months. And I do a lot of his laundry—one load is in my dryer right now, in fact. I don’t want to promise to do it all, since I’d rather not take that job over for a bunch of reasons.

I wish you well. And if you find a workable solution, please share! I think it would be harder if my dad was concerned about this, but he doesn’t notice. Your mom doesn’t need the additional worry, for sure.

ARIL

PS Looks like I asked a similar question last November and got some good answers (talking to other family members, etc.). One person suggested ironing labels onto his socks. I did buy a nonwashable marker and started writing his name in big letters on every sock. The socks are white and cheap.

Come to think of it, it was about that time when his pants and shirts stopped going missing. Maybe somebody saw the socks and thought, she means business?!

H1235

They label everything for you (although most of her stuff has already been labeled). I think some of the labels I bought and put on are starting to wear, but mom won’t let me look through anything. If I get mom something new I put it in a bag and tape a note to it asking them to label it and give her name and room number. Mom doest like it when I do this because she thinks she is perfectly capable of telling them herself (she is not). We sent 8 pair of brand new socks down to have labels put on them and only got 5 pair back. She has never even worn them. I bought her a laundry bag to put socks and bras in so they can go right in the washer in the bag. I labeled the bag. It was actually moms idea, but she doesn’t use it. Mom tells me she has found things in her closet that don’t belong to her. I don’t know how this will work. Im not looking forward to adding enough clothes to her wardrobe to make this possible. She is very picky. I am hoping if I’m doing her laundry I will have a better idea of what she is wearing and what fits her. She would not allow me to look through her closet or drawers.

caregiving daughter

You might want to list what's missing and ask the home to search in others' rooms. It's not other residents' fault, they have dementia, but they may find others' belongings attractive.