Hygiene issues

Onedayatattime

my wife was diagnosed 4 years ago initially with FTD but turned out to be Alzheimer’s. I’m managing things ok as I will get a caregiver one morning per week to start and then increase as warranted. The problem is that she refuses the bath or shower, was her hair and brush her teeth. Many times she ends up sleeping at night with her day clothes on.
Any advise or suggestions will be most welcome.

Chris_D

@Onedayatattime

Mine will take a shower on her own but recently I realized most often forgot to use soap! She's happy enough to take a shower with me, luckily. Will yours shower with you?

In the evening, mine'll usually brush her teeth but only if I remind her and then stand in or just outside the bathroom. She's fundamentally cooperative, which I sense is the issue you feel you're facing. That's a common problem, for sure.

if I'm lucky enough to get her to take off her pants and sweater before she gets in bed, I call it a win. She hasn't worn a nightgown or PJs in months. I focus instead on how we're fortunate she sleeps well almost every night, getting 8.5 hours on average.

Snipe

Thanks for this thread, I’m there right now with my DW. I feel lucky if she gets in the shower once a week, hair washing is a non starter now. Teeth brushing if I get the brush ready and stand there watching. I tried today to get her to use bathing wipes that I picked up. She also will wear the same day clothes to bed some nights, I get tired trying to get her to change. I guess it really doesn’t matter, she sleeps well at night. Curious also to see how others are handling these issues also.

Chance Rider

My husband, stage 5 ALZ, will only shower or brush his teeth, (reluctantly) when I prompt him. He also wears the same clothes for a few days, including to sleep in. A couple of months ago I hired a housecleaner who my husband really likes, and more importantly he listens to her. She’ll clean his bathroom and then tells him the shower is all ready for him. He’ll usually shower the next day. I now have a VA provided caregiver for 5 hours every Tuesday. He’s also going to try to get my husband to shower. My husband resists me but complies with others. I count it as a win.

annie51

Hygiene issues are so common with dementia. Some videos by Teepa Snow, Tam Cummings and Careblazers discuss techniques to try. It helps if you understand why they don’t want to shower so read up on that. Keep trying different things to see what works.
For my DH, he suddenly felt confined in the shower and refused to even get in there. After I gave up trying, I began using rinse free foaming soap on a very soft washcloth. I also bought rinse free shampoo that he let me do once in a while. There are also rinse free shampoo caps you could try if she won’t get in the shower.
For brushing teeth, I had a set of toothbrushes in the bathroom and another set in the kitchen. After breakfast I would say “time for our teeth”, I would put the toothpaste on both brushes, hand him his, then start brushing mine and he often did it side by side with me. If I couldn’t get him to brush, sometimes I could get him to use the Listerine Total Care mouthwash without alcohol (that one isn’t as strong).

DH always slept in his day clothes and even with his shoes on! I would try once to suggest he take them off and then just said my mantra to myself: DIRM - does it really matter? He slept and that was what was important.

It’s a constant tiring battle but you have to stay calm and not force anything. You’ve got some great ideas here from others and I hope something can work for you.

persevere

Here’s where I am at with the wife who is around 7b with full aphasia. Hospice bathes here on Tuesday and Friday. If she misses one it’s not a big deal. Once a week is fine if she’s not getting sweaty. It’s keeping the private parts as clean as possible that’s important. Washing hair once a week is fine. Wipe her face and hands from time to time to refresh. As for clothes I would say 50% of the time I’ll just let her stay in her nightgown. It’s comfortable. If we take a walk I just put a light sweater on her for a finished look. No one cares and she stays comfortable. If we take a ride she’s in the car. No big deal. If I dress her it needs to be loose fitting clothes. No jeans. No bra. As for teeth, I use teeth swabs every so often. As long as her breath is ok and the teeth are getting swabbed it’s the best you can do sometimes. Keep it all simple and comfortable.

dcare45

We had the same issues for a while. A couple things that helped in the shower; Purchased a handheld shower head instead of the one on the wall so the water was not beating down on her head and her face. I let it hang down, pick it up to wet and rinse as needed. I face her towards the semi clear glass doors instead of the side or back of the shower stall. In hindsight she was always slightly claustrophobic, I think facing the light through the glass helps. Pre heat the room with a space heater to make it cozy before we get in. We shower together. She still is not a big fan of it, but we make it happen. I DIRMed the sleeping in street clothes. If She is willing to change fine if not fine. As far as brushing teeth no luck there. DW won't do it and tries to chew the brush or swabs.