Not sure what to make of this

notequipped

My Mom is relatively new to AL - she moved in the day after Labor Day. Prior to her moving, I noticed on several occasions that she would sometimes have trouble differentiating between dreams and reality. For example, she woke up one time answering questions that she said I had asked when I hadn’t said anything. Anyway, several weeks ago she was startled by the night nurse coming in to her room during the night. She had a restless night worrying about someone coming in her room. She called this morning somewhat distraught about her neighbor across the hall coming in to use her bathroom at about 3 am. She said that a man came in with her that she thinks was her brother.

It is possible that the night nurse left her door unlocked and that her across the hall neighbor made her way in. Is it likely? No. Is it likely that a man came in when she was on her way out? I have no idea. There are only 8 of the type of room that my mom is in in the whole building. The likelihood of someone finding their way in and to the bathroom at that hour is pretty low.

Is this a dream wake thing? A hallucination? My husband suggested calling the AL to have them check camera footage (I’m assuming that there must be cameras in the halls) to see if someone was in her room at that time. I’m hesitant as I fear going down that road will lead to a move to memory care. I’m not quite ready for that and I don’t think that she is either. On the other hand, an appropriate medication might be helpful if it didn’t happen. If it did happen, mystery solved.

Thoughts??

H1235

I think this sounds like a confabulation. The nurse actually came in and startled her. Days later she talks with her neighbor across the hall and she mentions her brother who just visited. Your mom may have even been introduced to him. The person across the hall may have mentioned needing to use the bathroom at some point in the conversation. Somehow when she wakes up days later the wires in her brain get crossed and you have the incident she has described to you. Bits and pieces of reality pieced together to make a rather strange memory. Is this event still bothering her? If not I think I might just make a note of it and see if it happens again. Either way it might be worth mentioning to her doctor, although I don’t think there is much that can be done.

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/confabulation-dementia

notequipped

I have seen her confabulate other things - didn’t occur to me that could be the case here. She was bothered about it enough that she called me first thing this morning which is very out of character for her. I’ll have to add it it my list of things to keep an eye on.

​fesk

Why don't you put a camera in her room?

notequipped

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/285603#Comment_285603

Good idea. I purchased cameras before she moved in and just haven’t installed them. I need to let the AL know before activating them.

MudasirMunawar

Thank you for sharing this so clearly — it sounds worrying and confusing, especially when your mom is still settling in after a big move. It makes sense to check with the staff about the night visit and the door, just so you have a clear picture of what happened and can feel more at ease. Writing down what she remembers, and when, might also help you notice patterns and share them calmly with the team. You are doing a thoughtful job by noticing these changes early and asking questions. I hope the next few nights feel a little steadier for both of you.

Bowerbird

A camera could be a good idea, but I would check with AL staff to be sure it is allowed. Does your mother watch television? Sometimes a PWD will confabulate based on the show they recently watched. The lines between real life and TV can become blurred, so to them it may feel real. Let her know she is safe and that you will investigate and take care of it for her.

​fesk

I would have an issue if the AL didn't allow the camera. If all is above board, there's no reason it shouldn't be allowed.

Many years ago I could tell my mother was upset when coming home after spending the afternoon with the caregiver. She, of course, couldn't explain or tell me why. I looked into it and there was an issue. If my mother seems upset about something, I will always check to be sure she is safe.