In praise of firefighters (again!) 2 big adventures in 1 wk (Long post)

Well forum mates, last week was super-eventful and my head is still reeling from all the twists and turns.

Thursday (I think it was?) DH almost choked to death and I was lucky enough to successfully save him. Then second-guessed whether I unthinkingly interfered in what he would have preferred (an exit strategy to the long goodbye of dementia). The unanimous assurances that my instincts were what everyone here who responded would do...meant so much. How crazy-making this disease is to even have to wonder, but I surely did. He was so helpless. It was terrifying. I was happy he is alive and he was pretty chill for the rest of the evening and really cooperative (I guess a near death experience will do that for most of us).

Well, what a difference a day makes. Friday, we were out and about running a must-do errand and I had no choice but to take DH since the HHA was a no-show last week, and VA suggested we change agencies after their response.

Sooo...after a few hours of back and forth, and FINALLY coaxing DH (nudging, physically "helping" him out the door with my body right behind his) we made it into the car. Buckled up, good to go. He really loves oldies on satellite radio but forgets that of course. Before long he was toe-tapping and singing along, clapping his hands at times and clearly enjoying himself. I went to the drive through for a favorite combo first, and then to do the quick, time-sensitive errands. (Bank first, then to the P.O.) 

1. Drive through food order- check! 
2. Drive-thru banking - check! Finished meals in the process and no choking at all
3. P.O. - filled out the label and ready to go in...

DH did not want to go inside the P.O. with me, so I turned the car off, let windows down and ran in to pay the postage and get receipt. Luckily there was no line! And it took less than 5 minutes. (This day is going so much better than yesterday, I'm thinking gratefully). I could see the car but not really what was going on. He was still in it and that's all I was monitoring. I had my keys and purse.

The joke was on me. As I stepped back outside, I could see he had switched seats and was in the drivers' position, behind the wheel. Sigh. You all may know what's next. Thankfully he can't start my pushbutton car and I ALWAYS take the keys with me. But I stood in the street, just inside the open car door trying to convince him to get out and move back to the other side. Nothing doing. After an hour and a half of people having to go around us, trying to beg, borrow, almost cry (real tears), low-key threaten, and even joining him in the F-bombs at one point, trading insults with him (quietly), I threw in the towel.

Gave up and called the local firefighters.  The rescue crew who has picked him up off the ground, carried him up a flight of stairs, and scooped him off the floor and into his bed twice before as a non-emergency service. I let them know we needed a different kind of assist this time. So, now you know: your local firefighters are likely skilled at prying even a remarkably determined PWD from behind the wheel, while assuring him they are "helping him" get back into his seat so he and his wife can go home for dinner.  I thanked them. He said "she's not my wife". The firetruck pulled away. My neighbors surely wondered what all the excitement at the post office was that day. We drove home and by the time we arrived DH had forgotten all about it.

Not your typical TGIF activity lol. Unless you are a dementia caregiver that is. That was Friday. Saturday we did absolutely nothing. I decided I deserved that Sunday I cut the grass, the shrubs, and the outdoor extension cord ($25 unintended consequences of rushing to do neglected yardwork while DH napped). Monday?: I need a nap, a break, or a drink. Or all of the above! Thank you for reading my long-winded therapeutic writing. If I didn't write it down here sometimes I may not even believe it myself.

Bless our first-responders, though. They are skilled in putting out all kinds of fires, and treated my DH and our family with dignity in this impossible stand-off that could have gone really badly.