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FloydSnax
FloydSnax Member Posts: 96
10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Care Reactions
Member
in I Am a Caregiver (General Topics)

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  • loveskitties
    loveskitties Member Posts: 1,116
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 100 Likes 25 Care Reactions
    Member

    Every caregiver has their limits...no shame...no regrets...you did the best you could in a horrible situation.

    Your obligation (if you want to call it that) is to see to her safety and well being.  If that means she much live elsewhere with others caring for her, so be it.

    There are many here who have placed their LO, or who have lost their LO due to this disease and they still come back to read and post.  Hope you will too.

    Wishing you both better days.

  • oehlsena
    oehlsena Member Posts: 52
    10 Comments
    Member
    As a loved one declines they require even more and more attention and time from the ones they love. Often what they need is far more than what we can provide for them alone. Don't feel bad, feel glad that you know your limits and you know that it is time! Everything about this disease is unnatural. .  .
  • SusanB-dil
    SusanB-dil Member Posts: 1,461
    1000 Comments 250 Likes 100 Care Reactions Third Anniversary
    Member
    FloydSnax - you need to give yourself a lot more credit. You've done so much, that a lot, if not most, other people would not. Enough is enough, though, and you do need to take care of you.  You have NOT failed her.  and you cannot let yourself be 'another caregiver down'. That would help no-one.  ((hugs))
  • M1
    M1 Member Posts: 6,788
    1,500 Care Reactions 1,500 Likes 5000 Comments 1,000 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member
    please don't quit posting.  Let us know what happens.  There are many of us here who have travelled the same path and are still on it.  Asking for help and facility care is not the end of the world, I promise.
  • GothicGremlin
    GothicGremlin Member Posts: 1,146
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Likes 250 Care Reactions
    Member

    FloydSnax, I am so very sorry.  I'm with the others here - please don't beat yourself up. You've done so much to care for your mom, under the horrible conditions we all know so well.

    You're not a dick, and you haven't failed your mom. You know your limitations, and that's important. Whether your mom is moving to a memory care facility or staying with your sister and/or niece, it's okay. And I'll tell you, I placed my sister in memory care and I've never regretted it (I know my limitations too). Peggy's as happy as she can be at this stage, and that's what counts. I hope the same holds true for your mom.

    And like M1 says, please come back when you're ready. Take a break, get some rest, and then let us know how you and your mom are doing.

  • mommyandme (m&m)
    mommyandme (m&m) Member Posts: 1,468
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 100 Care Reactions 100 Likes
    Member

    Oh my…you are a true warrior, fighting for your moms life and yours!  Being honest with yourself for your mom is not a failure.  The long haul may find you back here. I hope you’ll post as your experiences can help others and I like to hear from you.  You may find room later, in yourself, to help your sis out in some way.  Once a caregiver always a….. ssshhhhh

    Take all the time you need for you and take good care and …. there’s no time or place for guilt on this journey. 

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more

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